Fire: Take A Breath
by Sapphire-Raindrop
Summary: [Book 3] Truly alone for the first time since entering the Avatar world, Dakota struggles to heal—both physically and mentally. Knowing that the Avatar and his friends win the war is all well and good, but Dakota doesn't yet know the sequence of events that help them reach that conclusion. She will soon learn that some knowledge comes at a terrible price.
1. Last To Know

Hello my lovelies! Yup, this is it, this is happening...THIRD BOOK IS OFFICIALLY STARTED.

I hope you enjoy! I'm doing a new thing with this story, in that each chapter will be inspired by a song from my Youtube playlist (see last chapter of Earth:Bring it Down for details).

 **Song Inspiration : **This first chapter (and the title) are inspired by the song _"_ Fear of the Water" by SYML.

 **Author Warning:** be warned, this story has a M rating for a reason. I'm delving into some more mature material this Book, such as mental illness, violence and some sexual stuff (I'll warn y'all ahead of time, don't worry!). I don't want to be afraid to push the boundaries, because this Book is more challenging and emotional for our beloved characters and I refuse to shy away from the pain and sadness that awaits us. It will still contain the fluff and humor of the original series, but yeah...shit is getting real and I hope you all stick with me!

This is BOOK 3 in the series, so if you're new here...you know what to do =P

If you like it and want more ASAP...

 ** _PLEASE REVIEW!_**

* * *

 **Fire: Take A Breath**

a _Avatar: The Last Airbender_ fanfic

 _by_ Sapphire-Raindrop

* * *

Chapter 1: Last To Know

* * *

Dakota tried to convince herself that she didn't feel the chill of the night from her position on the ship's watch post. Sneaking out of the healer's cabin after dark and sequestering herself while wearing nothing but a thin dress and thick bandages around her wrists wasn't smart, not by a long shot, but her mind was so many miles away that basic comforts didn't seem all that important.

Had the gyspy healers known she was awake when they started speaking just outside her door?

The burns on her wrists stung terribly. Dakota forced herself to examine the bone-pale bandages in the dim light of the moon, forced herself to swallow back the bitterness.

No matter where she went, no matter how hard she tried to forget about it, Azula's mark would always be there. Not just in her thoughts and nightmares but on her _skin_.

 _"The scouts got back a few days ago with news from the Fire Nation…"_

Dakota bent forward to cradle her head between her knees. A crisp breeze blew, then, and it felt like ice against the exposed skin of her neck. Her stomach rolled and churned uncomfortably.

Maybe she should stop fighting the urge to vomit. Doing so would be a welcome distraction—albeit a temporary and unpleasant one.

 _"The prince was the one who…who killed the Avatar, wasn't he?"_

She couldn't breathe properly, her heartbeat speeding up and her body tensing in preparation for battle against an enemy she couldn't see. Hopes and fears battered the walls of her brain until all that reached her was the thick rasping sound of of her breaths.

It couldn't be true. It _couldn't_ be true that Zuko, _her_ Zuko, had—

 _"Yeah. Shot him with lightning when his back was turned."_

Dakota shoved a fist into her mouth to muffle the sob that escaped her throat. She wouldn't let anyone know that she had cried; she _couldn't_ let anyone know because that would make the gypsy clans think that she was on _his_ side. It would make them doubt her loyalties even more than they already did.

The red shell necklace she wore guaranteed sanctuary, not trust.

She wasn't stupid enough to imagine that she wasn't a prisoner—yeah, they would _totally_ let the girl who lied to the gyspies about her origins and traveled with the infamous Fire Nation prince for more than half a year just _walk away_!

The Lelino Chief's ship was her cell and the waters that stretched for hundreds of miles in each direction were the immovable bars that stood between her and freedom.

Dakota sucked in a shaky breath as she stared down at the smooth darkness of the sea. It felt like a lifetime ago that the ocean had glowed electric-blue and dragged her under. Zuko's desperate shouts hadn't echoed underwater like they did in the earthen chamber under Ba Sing Se.

The Avatar was _dead_. Gentle, young Aang—the only hope for defeating the Fire Nation—was gone and Zuko was the cause. Dakota must have done something, must have _changed_ something, because Aang hadn't died in the original series; Henry would have told everyone within hearing distance if he had.

The war was lost and it was all Dakota's fault. She shouldn't have stayed with Zuko and Iroh. She should have stayed far away from the main characters of the story.

And now, thanks to her choice, an innocent boy was dead.

It would have been painful enough if Zuko had simply decided to leave with Azula and return home to the Fire Nation—it would have gutted her but she would have _understood_ it—but he had taken it a step further. She had done something by befriending Zuko, something _terrible._

The longer she remained in this world, the more she poisoned it.

Dakota blinked back tears as she pushed herself to her feet and staggered to the edge of the platform. The barrier was low enough for her to swing her legs over and have a clear view of the ocean directly below. The cold didn't reach her anymore; a wild, panicky hope took its place as she sat herself on the precarious railing.

Maybe the only way for the timeline to resume its usual course was to take herself _out_ of it. Aang would still be dead—that was too late to change—but what if her being gone removed the foreign influence and gave this world a chance to find its happy ending?

What if the glowing river back home had been waiting for something else, _someone_ else? Had she ruined any chance of the show following its intended path by giving in to her curiosity and touching it?

Iroh told her that she had been placed in their path for a reason; that fate was impossible to fight.

He had also advised her to follow her heart, but her heart felt _broken_. It ached with every breath because Zuko had _left_ her. Sure, he didn't know that Azula had intended to kill her and that Mai had watched it happen, but he had still made the decision to walk away. The reason for his leaving didn't even _matter_ because after all of it he chose to kill Aang, chose to leave Iroh to rot in a dungeon like some sort of criminal.

Dakota didn't know if she could trust what her heart was saying because even after all that had happened, it urged her to believe in Zuko.

Her fingers tightened around the railing as her lower half inched closer to the edge.

She wouldn't be scared this time.

A deep breath, and then—

"Dakota?"

Her eyes snapped opened and she jerked around to see little Maya stepping onto the watch-post. The tension behind Dakota's forced smile must have showed because the girl didn't smile back right away.

Dakota cleared her throat. "What are you doing up here so late?"

"Are you okay?" Maya asked, honey-brown gaze flickering to the ocean before returning to its original target. The older girl quickly swung her legs back to the platform before replying.

"Just had some trouble sleeping, that's all."

Maya relaxed as soon as Dakota was facing her—a flash of guilt sparked at the sight of the worry etched across the young child's face.

 _She isn't_ wrong _to worry,_ a small voice slithered from the back of her mind.

"Do they hurt?" Maya inquired as she approached, nodding to Dakota's heavily bandaged wrists. A fresh wave of self loathing washed over her at the sight of them, along with glimpses of Azula's rage-filled eyes and the delighted twist to her perfectly painted mouth as she lunged forward—

"A lot," Dakota bit out. She probably should have sugarcoated it a bit, at least for Maya, but the lingering anxiety she felt didn't lend itself to responding rationally.

"I'm sorry," the gypsy child quietly replied. Dakota shrugged, looking back at the sea in order to escape the rising melancholy in the air. The rasp of the water against the sides of the boat seemed a bit too loud, now. She grimaced as her wrists throbbed. It was too soon for her to be putting weight on them, or so the healers said.

"Don't be," Dakota muttered, unsure of what else to say.

Things had been easier when she had first come to them, hidden under the disguise of someone else. Maya had loved the idea of a playmate that she could introduce to the gypsy way of life and Tali had clearly enjoyed mothering the girl who had seemingly lost so much. But now, with all pretenses ripped away and the truth an ugly weight in the air, Dakota was unsure of where she stood.

"Mama will be back from the big trading mission tomorrow," Maya suddenly announced, leaning next to Dakota and twiddling the end of a braid between her fingers.

"Is that a good thing?" Dakota asked, trying and failing to inject some teasing into her voice.

"Mama's one of the best healers—besides Luka, anyway. She'll know what to do to make your wrists stop hurting," the gypsy explained, her eyes unwaveringly earnest. The honest concern in the child's voice made Dakota's throat swell with unexpected emotion.

"I doubt that either of them would want to help me," came out of her mouth before she could stop and consider the words.

Maya's brow furrowed. "Why not? You _helped_ us!"

Dakota scoffed. "I helped Luka push _one_ boat. I hardly—"

"You saved me _and_ you helped rescue Papa!" Maya interrupted with a scowl. "And even if you hadn't done that, you're one of us!" she impatiently declared, reaching forward to tap at Dakota's red shell necklace as well as the three pearls nestled at the base of her throat.

Dakota flinched at the girl's sudden movement, immediately embarrassed by how easily she was pulled back to her time in the Ba Sing Se prison—someone harmlessly reaching for her left Dakota gasping and her heart thudding painfully fast. Maya was innocently ignorant of her reaction in the way only children can be; too busy proving her point to be aware of much else.

Dakota closed her eyes and sucked in several deep breaths. When she opened them, Maya was staring at her still. Her gaze was both very young and very old all at once.

"I don't want you to hurt," Maya said, and her voice broke a bit at that. Her gaze went back to the spot where Dakota had been sitting just a few minutes before. Then, very suddenly, she flung herself into Dakota's arms.

Maya was a bit taller than she had been the last time Dakota had held her like this, but the eagerness to cling to comfort was the same. Careful not to jostle her wrists, Dakota put her arms around the girl and rested her chin atop the girl's head.

Even in the midst of such an embrace her gaze was drawn to the dark depths of the ocean. It continued to sway and shift with the currents, tempting in a way that _should_ have scared her.

Dakota hastily closed her eyes and hid her face in Maya's braids.

* * *

Zuko stared numbly down at Fire Nation citizens chanting his name, trying his best to smile. It felt forced, though, and so he soon abandoned the effort. Why bother smiling when the people below were so far away that they couldn't even see it?

His hands tightened around the balcony's gold-plated railing as he sucked in a deep breath. The air smelled of ash and spice; a unique blend of scents that only the Fire Nation Capital possessed and one that _should_ have soothed him. After all, he had gone three years without it, had reluctantly begun to accept the horrible possibility that he might never smell it again.

Now he was home again and on paper it was perfect—taken almost directly from his once fervent dreams of returning home—but that's all it was: a _fantasy_.

The reality was that his uncle was locked up in a grimy jail cell and Dakota was wandering alone somewhere in the Earth Kingdom. Zuko had pretended to kill the Avatar and now was playing along with the lie so that he could secretly deliver information about the Fire Nation's war plans.

Even with that seemingly noble goal in mind, Zuko wasn't able to shake the guilt.

 _I made the right choice,_ he told himself for the tenth time that day. As always, the guilt seemed to almost chuckle in response before burrowing itself more deeply into his chest.

After what felt like hours, Zuko's moment in the spotlight finally ended and he was directed to retreat back into the palace halls. Zuko's personal servant—a thin, sharp-featured man named Fao —sent a confused frown in his direction upon seeing how hastily Zuko exited the balcony. Zuko walked past him without so much as a glance, as was expected of the royalty when dealing with lower ranks.

"The Fire Lord has commanded that the Prince join him in the War Room for the weekly collaboration—" Fao began, his voice toneless in a way that signified his reading the information word for word from his schedule scroll.

Zuko froze, the movement so sudden that the servant just barely avoided colliding with his back.

"What?" he interrupted. His tone was harsher than he intended but he couldn't bring himself to care.

The last time his father had invited him to the War Room, it was on his thirteenth birthday. He had spoken out of turn, thinking himself safe from reproach as a member of the Royal Family, naïve and unaware of just how much the moment of defiance would cost him.

Zuko's fingers twitched, itching to reach up and touch his scar, but he managed to control the impulse. The shock was fading and he was able to think clearly enough to remember that he couldn't show uncertainty. It had been so long since he had been forced to remember the rules of the palace; so long since he had needed to be on guard from the moment he left his rooms in the morning to the moment he retuned to them in the evening.

As a child and a teenager, he supposed it had been natural as breathing—explicitly explained by his tutors and subtly encouraged by his mother and uncle. More than three years had passed since that time and now Zuko was being thrust into that same world as if nothing had changed.

Fao cleared his throat. "The Fire Lord has commanded your presence in the weekly collaboration. You are to report to the War Room in two hours."

Zuko forced his expression to smooth into one of indifference, sending the servant a short nod before continuing on his way.

"Understood. I'll be taking lunch in my rooms today."

"Of course, Prince Zuko," Fao said, giving him a deep bow and hurrying in the direction of the Dining Hall.

Zuko slowly traversed the familiar halls of his childhood home, both surprised and unsurprised at the sameness of it all. Unsurprised because his father was nothing if not rooted in the maintaining of traditional architecture and surprised because how could _nothing_ have changed?

"It's just me, then," Zuko muttered bitterly under his breath as he paused to watch the turtle-ducks bathe themselves in the clear pond that decorated the Western Courtyard.

The courtyard's position in relation to the sun as well as the plentiful gardens made it perfect for afternoon strolls. His mother had told him once, a few weeks before her painfully permanent farewell, that his father had built the courtyard for her as a wedding present.

 _"During your father's and my courtship, I would always stop and pick flowers and skip stones in any ponds I passed, much to your father's confusion. I had seen the Royal Palace before and knew that there weren't any gardens like there were in my family's estate. I knew I wanted to marry your father, but I was saddened by the idea of living in a place without gardens," the Fire Lady mused._

 _A younger Zuko looked up from his drawing in order to better focus on her words. He would never admit it, but he craved stories of his father as someone other than the Royal Prince._

 _Ursa's eyes softened. "Little did I know, your father had ordered this courtyard to be built, even before I accepted his proposal."_

 _Zuko frowned. "But why?"_

" _Oh my dear boy," his mother murmured, reaching over to pull him into a tight hug. He pretended to struggle for a bit but settled into the warmth of her embrace quickly enough. She sat with him in silence for a time before leaning down to press a gentle kiss to the crown of his head._

" _Love," was her quiet answer, her voice heavy with an emotion that Zuko was too young to recognize._

Zuko blinked rapidly as he stared into the waters of the pond. His younger mind hadn't known what the feelings behind his mother's words had been, but his current mind was more than capable of guessing.

"Hey," Mai's voice came from beside him, and his shoulders jerked in surprise. He turned to face her and found her giving him an almost-smile.

"A thin little bird told me you were taking lunch in your rooms today," she drawled, standing close enough that their shoulders were touching.

Zuko didn't reply, too intent on examining her face as she stared out into the gardens. He had only seen her a handful of times since the catacombs of Ba Sing Se, mostly in passing because the past week and a half had been so busy and nearly always as a result of Azula's meddling.

His sister seemed intent on pushing them together, as she always had, and for once Zuko didn't mind; he had missed Mai in the years he had been gone. Seeing her was a welcome buffer between him and the sore tenderness of having to deceive Dakota and his uncle.

"My father requested my presence in the War Room," Zuko explained, trying his best to imitate the advisor's bland tone. Mai's gaze snapped to his face and her mouth pursed ever so slightly. Zuko recognized the worry there, even when most would classify her expression as merely pensive.

"And you're remembering the last time that happened," she replied, the concern almost entirely hidden behind an equally bored tone. Zuko sent her a small nod before turning back towards the gardens. The turtle-ducks quacked excitedly as they played and raced through the water. Zuko could almost feel another girl beside him, could almost see the pink flowers falling from the trees and dark eyes staring up at him.

 _"Would_ you _go home if you had the chance?"_

Mai's touch on the unscarred side of his face was gentle. He instinctively leaned into it, closing his eyes to better imagine that it was Dakota standing beside him. He knew it was wrong, cruel to Mai and cruel to himself, but he couldn't bring himself to pull away.

"If he challenges you to another Agni Kai, I think we both know who would win, this time," Mai whispered, her voice unexpectedly fierce as she stared up at him. Zuko wished that he were as confident, that he was still that headstrong boy who didn't hesitate to stand up for what was right.

Mai was watching him, beautiful and poised, her golden eyes so familiar and yet they _weren't_ , not really.

"Thanks, Mai," he said quietly as he took a small step back. The girl's hand fell and with it fell the smile that had been tugging at the corner of her mouth. She didn't look angry, no, she looked _sad_.

Zuko lowered his gaze, shame washing over his body and leaving it bereft of warmth.

"I've got to go," he mumbled before turning and hurrying away. He told himself that he didn't hear the slight hitch in Mai's voice as she said goodbye.

It was a lie.


	2. Hold Steady, Hold Steady

I liiiiiiiiiive!

 **Chapter Title Inspiration** : "The Sea", by Haevn

So sorry for the late update, guys, I was having some anxiety issues and overall life issues (nothing serious, don't worry, just your usual 24-year-old "WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE" struggles) and my muse was dead where this story was concerned.

I struggled to write this chapter, mostly because of lack of muse, but I think it came out okay...a bit short, I know, but I'm trying really hard here. If there are any mistakes, know that I've been writing this for 5 hours straight and its 1:30am where I am. I just was so eager to get SOMETHING out to you guys, because you're so goddamn patient with me and my sporadic updates.

I hope to get the next chapter out as soon as possible!

Lots of love, always!

If you want to send your author some much needed encouragement/constructive criticism…

 _ **PLEASE REVIEW**_!

* * *

Chapter 2: Hold Steady, Hold Steady

* * *

Aang felt like a piece of driftwood that was aimlessly floating on the surface of the ocean. Instead of seawater below him, however, there was something of a much more ominous nature. He felt pain from his wound, sure, but oddly enough he still felt like himself—still felt _whole_. Even with that, the endless nothingness beneath still called to him, quietly assuring him that all the worry and pain would go away if he just let himself sink _down_ —

A cool hand closed around his wrist and pulled him beyond the darkness' reach.

"You're safe, Aang," Yue said gently—was she still Yue, or was she the Moon Spirit?—as their bodies materialized on a beach with powder-white sand. The Spirit World's sky was ever changing and the air felt charged with energy. Yue herself glowed from within; brightly enough that it almost hurt to look at her.

The memories came back, then.

"Katara!" Aang cried, sitting up so suddenly that spots _should_ have swam before his eyes but didn't—his spirit body didn't react the same as his physical one did.

Yue's hands on his shoulders forced him to remain seated. "She's fine; they're all fine. Zuko's lightning only left a flesh wound, nothing more."

Aang frowned. "He tried to _kill_ me!"

"If Zuko hadn't, who would have stepped in, I wonder?" the former princess asked, her tone making it clear that she already knew the answer. Her hands tightened meaningfully around his arms and he could feel the realization sinking into his gut.

"Azula," Aang breathed, his anger fading as he recalled the unsettling satisfaction in the female Firebender's eyes whenever she caused someone pain. Zuko had never looked at him like that. Even when the scarred Firebender was still actively trying to capture the Avatar, even when he was angry and reckless, his gaze had never given Aang the uneasy feeling that Azula's did.

Yue nodded. "Intention is a powerful thing—especially with something as fickle as lightning," she explained as she released his arms and moved to sit back down beside him.

Aang's shoulders slumped. "But _why_ did he do it? Katara told me that they talked, that Zuko was going to help us…"

The Airbender trailed off, hugging his knees tight to his chest in an attempt to ward off the sudden chill he felt deep in his chest. He could only imagine what would have happened if Azula had been the one to shoot that final blow—would he already be in the eerie darkness, cut off from everything he knew and loved?

Yue didn't respond, pensively staring out into the Spirit World waters—the emotion shone through her eyes rather than any human expression, deep and murky like the ocean after a terrible storm. The silence was tense; the former human girl was clearly holding something back but Aang didn't think to pry. One of the first lessons young Airbenders were taught was that everyone was entitled to their secrets.

"The path ahead won't be easy—for _any_ of you," Yue finally whispered, voice thick with sadness. "I wish I could help, but too much knowledge can be a dangerous thing. I have so much power and yet I still have to stand by and let the bad things happen."

Aang leaned in closer to her, trying to read behind the glow of her new Spirit features. She caught him examining her face and smiled ruefully at the look of intense concentration.

"This must be so strange to you, talking to someone you watched turn into the Moon Spirit," she said, seeming happy to change the subject. Her teasing tone eased Aang's worry, even if it was only a little, and he shrugged in response.

"Eh, I've seen weirder. I'm just..." He paused, trying to collect his thoughts before replying. "You're harder to read than before. I'm usually pretty good at figuring out what people are feeling, especially people who are good at hiding it, but now…"

Yue's expression didn't change so much as her eyes did. Once again, the blue-silver irises seemed to overflow with the depth of her feelings—melancholy instead of contemplativeness, this time.

"I've wondered the same. I'm still… _me_...but I'm also La. She and I are different and yet the same. I have bits of her memories, a piece of her _spirit_ , but the rest of her died in the Spirit Oasis," Yue whispered, as if afraid to speak too loudly, and Aang finally saw a flash of pain shift the human curves of her face.

She turned to Aang, then. "Is it strange that I wish I could have given her more? I gave my life, I gave up _everything_ , and yet it wasn't _enough_. She's still gone, and I'm just a tiny _part_ of her."

Yue looked down at her shimmering hands. "It makes me wonder if I was ever more than a piece of La, if 'Yue' even existed apart from that bit of life she gave me."

Aang could hear the bitterness in her voice and moved to put an arm around her shoulders. She was taller than him, so his arm was more around her upper arms than shoulders, but she still appreciated the gesture if the relaxing of her posture was any indication.

The boy cast his gaze downward. "I thought the same thing when I found out that I was the Avatar. I was so scared that I wasn't allowed to be _me_ —that I was going to have to give up all that I was—that I ran. Maybe if I hadn't, I could have saved them. If I hadn't been so selfish…"

He felt his eyes stinging with tears but didn't try to stop them from falling. Yue put her arm around him in return, her own tears—iridescent and otherworldly tears but still very clearly _tears_ —dripping down her cheeks.

Yue leaned her head against his. "Whenever I would get frustrated by the mistakes I made in my lessons, my teacher would always say: 'Failure only becomes permanent if we choose to make it so. The beauty—and tragedy—of being human is the freedom to define ourselves, to _choose_ if we learn from our failures."

Aang let out a shaky breath and rubbed at his face to rid it of the tears. The Spirit World sky was beginning to shift, to fold into itself almost. Yue gestured for Aang to join her as she rose to her feet.

"It's time to go back, Aang."

Aang reached out to hold her hands. "Thank you for helping me."

"I wish I could do more," Yue said softly. "I wish…I wish that I could prevent what's coming, but sacrifice is necessary. The traveler is the key—"

Before he had time to ask _what_ was coming and who the 'traveler' was, the world swirled into nothingness and the last thing he saw were the tears still glimmering in her silvery eyes—

—and then Aang woke up to find himself in his physical body.

His view of a curved metal ceiling was quickly obstructed by the intrusion of a familiar face. Even through the ache of his body and the pain between his shoulder blades, he found it in him to smile at the anxious Waterbender hovering over him.

"Hey, Katara," he managed to rasp through a throat that was gritty from disuse. The sensation made him wonder how long he had been asleep for—quite a while, based on how relieved his friend looked.

Katara smiled back, her blue eyes—shining with unshed tears—reflecting almost silver in the light of the nearby lamp.

* * *

Dakota hid in her rooms when the boats returned from the trading posts the next morning, locking the doors and using her shoulder to shove a heavy cabinet in front of the door for good measure. Her wrists burned and throbbed but she ignored the pain as she curled up on her blankets and stared out the glass window right next to the bed.

 _You're a coward_ , her shadowy reflection's gaze seemed to say. It wasn't a sentiment Dakota could (or wanted to) disagree with, but even with that she wasn't going to change her mind.

She wasn't going to accept treatment from Tali or Luka.

Tali had been gone before Dakota awoke from her feverish, drug-induced slumber. Maya's suspicious silence on her mother's reasons for leaving so suddenly said all that Dakota needed to know—the older woman was avoiding her. And why wouldn't she?

Dakota had chosen to join the enemy, after all. No amount of good intentions—what with helping to push out the gypsy escape boats—could erase the fact that she was a _Firebender_.

She didn't deserve their kindness. She hadn't deserved it back when they found her, when they accepted her into the Lelino Clan and _trusted_ her, and she sure as hell didn't deserve it now.

Dakota deserved to feel this pain—Aang was _dead_ because she was too weak to leave Zuko and Iroh, too scared to be on her own even if it would allow the story to play out as it should have.

A fresh wave of pain pulsed through her wrists, so strongly that a soft cry escaped her throat despite the efforts to keep quiet. What kind of Firebender could she be, now? The thought of never feeling the comforting warmth of her fire between her fingers made her chest clench painfully. It took all of her strength not to let her shoulders shake with her sobs.

Azula had taken more than just her Firebending. She had taken—

"Zuko _chose_ ," she hissed into her pillow, swallowing back the lump that always came when she thought of Zuko. Even though it hurt every time she said his name, she forced herself to say it because she _refused_ to be the kind of girl who couldn't even say the _name_ of the person who broke her heart.

Some time later, there was a soft knock at the door.

Dakota ignored it.

The knock came again, a little stronger, and when it was met with stony silence the scrape of a key being inserted into the lock was heard. The door clicked open but didn't open thanks to the cabinet in the way.

"Yeah, she's put something in front of the door. Pretty impressive for someone who can barely move their hands, I'll give her that," Luka muttered begrudgingly. Dakota froze at the sound of the older girl's voice—she hadn't been expecting the Chief's daughter to make a visit.

"Coda, open the door!" Tali unexpectedly called out. The suddenness of the familiar voice made Dakota want to cry all over again. Why was _she_ here? To get a look at the girl who had left with the Fire Nation Prince even after he practically burned down Kyoshi Island? To tell her that they were dropping her off at the nearest port?

Dakota didn't respond; her name wasn't Coda, after all.

"Alright, screw this," Luka snapped.

Dakota sat up at the sound of water being poured onto the floor. It spread sluggishly under the door and under the cabinet until it showed on Dakota's side. Suddenly, the water stopped, slowly creeping up the sides of the cabinet and carefully lifting up.

The girl scrambled to her feet, heart pounding as she watched the cabinet, suspended by a shimmering cage of water, float to the side until it was no longer blocking the door. The water retreated almost too quickly for her eyes to follow and the moment it was gone the door swung open.

Tali stood there, her tall form almost completely filling the space of the doorway.

The woman was dressed in traveling clothes and held a small pouch in one hand. Her dark hair wasn't in braids, as it had been when Dakota first met her, instead falling down her back in thick curls. Dakota reluctantly looked up into brown eyes, inching back until she was pressed against the wall. Tali stepped into the room, glancing over at the cabinet and raising an eyebrow when she saw its size.

"I'm with you, Luka—that _was_ quite a feat!" the woman exclaimed. Luka chuckled before stepping into the room as well. Her long hair was in a single braid that hung almost to her waist. The colorful ribbons woven into the thick plait glimmered in the light coming in from the window.

Dakota looked away from the both of them, slowly walking to the bed and sitting down.

"I should be okay to leave soon," she said, keeping her voice as neutral as possible.

Tali's head jerked slightly, as if struggling to comprehend Dakota's words. Luka scowled and folded her arms across her chest. It was then that Dakota noticed the water bag attached to the belt around the girl's waist. How was it possible that someone not from the North or South Pole was a Waterbender?

"Coda, you're nowhere near healed, yet," Tali said cautiously, stepping forward but freezing in place when Dakota shrunk back. She just wanted to be left alone, not coddled and cared for like she _wasn't_ a traitor—

"You've done enough, more than I deserve," came out of Dakota's mouth before she could think through her words. Luka's eyebrows shot upwards in shock and Tali's eyes softened.

Without a word Tali went and sat beside her on the bed. Dakota tried to move away but before she could, the woman's strong arms came around her and hugged her close. She struggled—as much as she could with her useless wrists—but Tali refused to budge.

"Let it out."

Dakota's eyes shot open and she struggled harder. She wouldn't cry in front of Tali, wouldn't let her see how _broken_ she was. She had let everyone down, had ruined the story, why couldn't they just let her _go_ —

"I don't want any more help!" Dakota found herself shrieking into Tali's shoulder, making the woman jump but not loosen her hold. Luka came to sit on the other side of the bed—Dakota jumped as Luka's hand came to rest lightly on the back of her neck.

"Yes, you do. You just don't think you deserve it. Which is _stupid_."

Dakota's blood boiled and she lashed out with a foot in Luka's direction. It didn't hit its mark, wasn't even close, and Luka grabbed the leg before she could try again. Dakota continued to fight, managing to clip Luka's hip before the girl shifted into a more secure position.

"Shut _up_!" Dakota spat, and Tali's grip tightened until it was almost painful.

"Let her be," Tali warned, but Luka kept going, her voice calm even as her words mercilessly cut through Dakota's ears.

"What will refusing our help do, huh? Will it bring the Avatar back? Will it turn back time? Tell me, Dakota, tell me what it is you think will happen by locking yourself up in this room and hiding like a _coward_ —"

"That's enough—" the older gypsy woman tried to interrupt, her voice sharp. Dakota's eyes squeezed shut to fight off tears as Luka continued:

"What will punishing yourself do? Tell me!"

Dakota gasped for air. "I don't _know_!" she yelled, feeling her face crumple as she began to cry in earnest.

Tali held her through it, held her as she finally stopped struggling and lay limp in the woman's arms. The guilt was so heavy in Dakota's chest that it felt like she couldn't _breathe_ , and her wrists began to hurt so badly that it was all she could do not to start screaming again. Luka's hand never once left her neck, never once let up on the steady, gentle pressure.

"Then let us help you, love," Tali murmured.

"Just let me _go_ ," Dakota begged. The older gypsy shook her head; Dakota could feel the movement above her. Luka's hand slowly began to stroke Dakota's hair, not seeming to care that the girl hadn't washed it in several days—she refused to let the nurses touch it anymore, and with her wrists as they were she didn't even try to grip the soap containers.

Luka sighed. "If you want to leave after you're better, that's up to you. But you're not going _anywhere_ until your wrists have healed properly," she declared, reaching for the small bag that Tali had placed onto the bedside table when approaching Dakota. The bag opened and a pungent, vaguely familiar scent filled the room.

The Waterbender smiled apologetically as Dakota's nose wrinkled. "Emberbloom root's got a pretty strong smell. It gets even stronger when you cut them, so get ready for _that_ a little later."

"Emberbloom…isn't that for burns?" Dakota asked, her memory jogged by the name. That was what Azu— _Ursa_ had used to help her stay awake long enough to make it to the gypsy camp. Didn't that grow in the Fire Nation? Iroh had mentioned it once in passing, when discussing various tastes and spices to add to tea, and Dakota was pretty sure he had said it only grew on remote volcanic islands.

Luka's expression sobered. "It's the only medicine strong enough to help your wrists get back to full strength once I heal the surface damage, so Tali and I went to go get some. It'll take some work and some patience, but I think we can get you back to—"

"But Maya said you were on a trading mission," Dakota said, frowning, and Tali chuckled.

"Lying was the only way we were able to get away without raising suspicion. Things in the Fire Nation are dangerous enough that all gypsy chiefs are banning travel into Fire Nation waters. Don't worry, we bought enough goods at a nearby port to sell our story."

"I was _hoping_ to practice my Waterbending with some capsizing of Fire Nation patrol ships, but no such luck," Luka muttered under her breath as she placed the bag of emberbloom roots on the small round table at the foot of the bed.

Dakota frowned. "Why would you…?"

She trailed off, her throat tightening when Luka sent her an exasperated look. The older girl appeared untouched by the journey, but when she turned Dakota saw the slight singing on her shirt and the angry red remnants of a burn on her exposed shoulder.

"You're one of us, love," Tali declared with a gentle squeeze. "I claimed you that day, when I looked overboard to see a strange girl staring up at me from the water. That girl refused to drown, even when facing a vast, ever-changing ocean."

Dakota looked down at the patterned bedspread. "I'm not that girl anymore," she said quietly.

Tali waited until Dakota looked up again to reply. The woman's warm gaze met hers, gentle but resolute.

"Then you'll need to find her again."


	3. Hands Too Hard To Hold

Long time no see!

 **Chapter Title Inspiration** : "Run For Cover" by Gabrielle Aplin

As always, I'm so sorry for the long wait, guys. Life is a lot, especially as my time in Spain is coming to an end and I'm being forced to consider my next steps. As of right now, Colorado is my next destination! Hoping to get residency and then make the trek to Denver to start studying to become a Speech Language Pathologist! So pray for my poor, broke-af soul as I embark on the next chapter of my story!

Speaking of next chapters...

This bugger of a chapter has been half-written for months, but for some reason Zuko's POV was taking its sweet time to formulate itself into something I was half-way okay with. I'm still feeling iffy about it but at the same time I know this is as good as my brain is going to do. I hope you guys enjoy!

As always, if you like the chapter/have constructive criticism/want more ASAP...

 ** _PLEASE REVIEW_**!

* * *

Chapter 3: Hands Too Hard To Hold

* * *

Zuko sucked in a deep breath before continuing up the last few steps of the way to Iroh's cell, holding the soup bowl carefully as to conceal the scrap of paper pressed underneath. The guard stepped aside without protest, nodding to him as he passed. It wasn't illegal to visit prisoners, it was true, but Zuko still didn't want anyone important hearing about it. Hence the hefty bribe he pressed into the young woman's hand as he walked by.

"You have twenty minutes before the changing of the guard," she murmured. Zuko didn't acknowledge the words; he was already thinking about what he was going to say to his uncle.

Just yesterday, Zuko's father had revealed in the meeting that they were continuing their work on the war balloons, preparing for the coming of Sozin's Comet. He hadn't gone into detail about the targets of that day's attack but it was only a matter of time. In the meantime, he could get into contact with the Avatar and his friends…that is, if they would even _listen_ to him after what happened in Ba Sing Se.

Zuko's steps faltered just before rounding the corner, his eyes closing in an attempt to block out the memory of Katara's tear-streaked face as she watched Aang fall. In his heart of hearts he _knew_ that he made the right choice but it didn't make it any easier to watch what came _after_.

 _If you and Katara switched placed and it was_ Dakota _that got shot in the back with lightning…would_ you _listen?_

Zuko chose to take the final steps rather than admit the ugly truth that came with a question like that.

Iroh was sitting cross-legged on the stone floor with his back to the bars. His grey hair hung in oily, unkempt strands around his shoulders. A glance at the small opening for food made Zuko breathe slightly easier—there was a clean meal tray there, the utensils and bowl nearly arranged atop it. It even made him smile slightly.

Even as a prisoner, his uncle was a gracious guest.

Zuko looked up as he approached the bars. "Hello, Uncle. I've brought you some soup—spiced chicken, your favorite. I know how much you missed Capital spiced chicken during my exile," he began as he carefully crouched down to place the bowl on the tray. He made sure that the slip of paper was on Iroh's side and therefore hidden from view of the guards that would walk past on their hourly rounds.

His uncle didn't move, didn't even seem to notice that his nephew was there, and the stony silence cut deep. Zuko had been expecting it but it still hurt to be on the receiving end.

"I know you're angry at me, Uncle, and I'm sorry for that. I was just doing what I thought was right—for _everyone_."

Nothing.

Zuko's hands clenched as he sucked in a deep breath. The past few weeks in the palace had left him worn and tired even after a full night's rest. He filled his days with his father's Council meetings—always silent, always the perfect, _spineless_ son—and his nights with hours of searching through old war plans in a desperate attempt to see hints of what his father might be planning. For appearance's sake, he ate lunch with Mai every day in his mother's garden, and after the first few awkward attempts he realized that he truly _did_ enjoy her company. She hadn't touched him since that first day when he had been summoned to his father's Council and Zuko was grateful that she had enough tact to recognize his need for space.

But even with Mai he knew better than to let his guard slip too far. She cared for him, yes, but at the end of the day she answered to his father, to _Azula_ , and therefore he couldn't risk being honest with her. The lack of freedom pressed down on Zuko until it felt like he was dragging a weight around with him every time he stepped outside his rooms.

A small, childish part of him had hoped that speaking with his uncle would relieve at least _some_ of that pressure. Reality came in and swept that naïve desire aside as the silence continued.

Zuko let out a sigh. "You'll feel better after you eat the soup, Uncle. Please…please at least try it. I made it myself, so it's probably not as good as you remember, but I tried my best. I'm still…I'm still _trying_ ," he breathed, shaking his head firmly as his voice threatened to shake.

He wished he could _tell_ his uncle everything instead of relying on scraps of paper that were entirely too short to properly express what he was feeling. He couldn't justify taking the time and space to explain to his uncle that every night, he dreamed of Dakota walking alone on a path leading away from Ba Sing Se and of her expression when she realized that Zuko and Iroh weren't coming to find her. That every night he ran to catch up with her and when he did, he always pulled her into his arms—even when she tried to push him away, even when she yelled and screamed at him for what he had done—because for a moment, she was _there_. Opening his eyes every morning was like being doused with ice water and yet every night he eagerly went to sleep because even the pain of waking up couldn't drive him away from dreams of her.

If Zuko tried to tell his uncle all of that, he'd have to smuggle in a book instead of an easily hidden scrap of paper.

Iroh continued to ignore him and Zuko cleared his throat to clear the ache that had formed in his chest.

"Goodbye, Uncle," he bit out before fleeing the tower. He told himself that it was because he had delivered his message and that he had done all he could to let Iroh know of his plans…but the truth was, it was to escape the silence.

For most of his life, Zuko had complained about how much Iroh talked. He whined to anyone who would listen about how annoying his 'crazy uncle' was and about how he wished that the man would stop embarrassing himself with silly tales and badly-timed jokes.

Now, Iroh was finally quiet, and Zuko felt stupid for ever having wished for such a thing.

* * *

It took two weeks for Dakota's wrists to heal enough to start training again. She didn't think she would ever get over the shock of it all; she had watched _glowing water_ soothe and heal the angry, raw edges of her burns. The scars were still there of course, horrible and twisting around her wrists like scraggly roots, but she could finally _hold_ things. She could point and grip a staff and go about her days without pain!

Dakota would never admit it out loud, but she cried like a baby the first time she was able to get dressed without any outside help.

The day after that momentous accomplishment, Maya showed up at her door with two training staffs in hand. That was when the warm fuzzy feelings came to a very abrupt halt.

"You could at least _try_ not to laugh at me…" Dakota wheezed from her spread-eagle position on the deck. The Chief's ship was the only ship with a big enough space for training purposes, and as such, several other pairs of gypsies were currently sparring around them.

Maya grinned cheekily as she twirled her staff around; the movement was _just_ shy of showing off.

"You _definitely_ almost got me that time," the girl reassured her. Dakota snorted in disbelief before awkwardly maneuvering to her feet. Her wrists didn't hurt, per se, but the newly healed area still bothered her from time to time. Luka said that the stiffness would never go away completely and that she would have to be extra careful to stretch and do exercises to maintain good circulation there—such a small price to pay for almost full use of her hands.

"If you can't keep yourself from laughing, you could at _least_ try to be a better liar," Dakota muttered, the comment drawing a pealing laugh out of the other girl.

"Luka was right; you _are_ a bad influence! Trying to make a liar out of me!" Maya mock-gasped, clutching at her chest in a movement so full of desolation that Shakespeare himself would have wept to see it.

Dakota was surprised at the link her mind had made—it wasn't often that she thought about the literature and pop culture of her world. Part of her was terrified for the day where she would try to make a reference…only to realize she had forgotten the important little details.

"Coda?"

Dakota's body snapped to attention. "Sorry, just a bit distracted."

Maya's teeth worried her bottom lip. "You know I was just joking, right? The making-me-a-liar bit, I mean. Luka's definitely said that you're a bad influence but I can guarantee she meant it in a good way if her smile was anything—"

Dakota smiled at Maya's nervous babbling, halting the girl's tirade with a gentle tap on the shoulder from her staff.

"You're fine. I'm not _so_ damaged that I can't tell when someone's teasing."

Maya smiled, though she had lost that spark of mischief from before. The girl was so sweet, really. Still impulsive and nosy but that was just her age; she'd grow into her strong personality, just as she had begun growing into her adult body. It was startling to realize that Maya had sprouted up like a goddamn _tree_ since she had seen her last. It wouldn't be long before she stood taller than Dakota.

 _Henry was always worried that he'd never grow taller than me_ , Dakota mused as she watched the girl settle into her fighting stance, eyes alight with energy as she began to explain the technique. _I wonder, is he taller than me now?_

Dakota's throat tightened. Before she could tell Maya she needed a break—needed to hide away before she started blubbering in front of all these people—something solid shoved past her. With no warning and her mind worlds away Dakota predictably went down like a sack of bricks. The wood was warm against her hands—never hot, never like Zuko's ship—as she broke her fall. The movement sent zings of pain up her forearms but she gritted her teeth rather than let herself cry out.

"Hey!" Maya angrily yelled, at her side in an instant and helping her to her feet.

Dakota looked up and found herself face to face with a tall gypsy girl—easily taller than Zuko—with tan skin, long black hair and green eyes rimmed with kohl. Around her neck was a gleaming clamshell, identical to the one Dakota herself wore—only the girl's was green instead of red. The way the other gypsies were staring at the stranger made Dakota immediately on edge—they were deferring to her even as they frowned in disapproval, stepping back rather than confront.

Whoever she was, she was high up on the food chain. Maya, bless her, was glaring daggers even in the face of the gypsy's apparent status.

The newcomer didn't sneer, didn't scowl or in any way show her anger, but that only served to highlight the burning distaste in her eyes. Dakota wanted to laugh, just a bit, because the girl was trying to intimidate her. After dealing with Azula's rage first hand, Dakota doubted she would ever be intimidated by anything _less_ than that.

The girl stepped closer, not sparing a glance for Maya even when the younger gypsy stepped in front of Dakota to try and shield her. Without warning Maya was moved aside, so unnaturally quickly that Dakota couldn't help but flinch because how—?

A glance answered her question; a thin but sturdy line of earth encircled Maya's shoulders and waist.

" _Sha, tea se le reskimala_ ," the gypsy—the _Earthbender_ —said softly.

The last word she said rang a familiar bell in Dakota's mind.

Dakota straightened her shoulders. "Yeah, I'm the Firebender. Here to spit on me and tell me I'm trash? I can't say it's the most original plan but hey, whatever floats your boat," she said, willing her voice to stay level. The girl didn't react, didn't give the barest hint that she had heard, and that level of control was more than a little unsettling.

After what felt like entire minutes the gypsy tilted her head to one side in order to make eye-contact with her companion—the tall, heavily tattooed man cut a much less imposing figure than the girl did, shockingly, which would explain Dakota not noticing him until that moment.

" _Ne cana ni stei krena. Seka da le reskima defa_ ," she murmured, her companion chuckling at her words. Dakota had no idea what was being said but got the idea it was something derogatory when Maya's face went red with anger.

" _Bita stei sook da stei_ pusha!" Maya spat.

At that, the crowd visibly shifted with discomfort. Dakota glanced around, hoping for someone to translate, but no such luck. The stranger's head snapped to Maya and in an instant the younger gypsy girl was yanked so that the two were eye-to-eye; Maya's feet dangled uselessly above the ground because she wasn't quite tall enough on her own.

Dakota's blood boiled at the rough treatment. Her fire almost came within her grasp but it was gone just as quickly. The burning center that resided in her chest—one that hadn't been sustained by anger but by something more steady—was so low that it took all of her energy just to sense it. Had Azula's attack taken her Firebending as well as scarred her skin?

She opened her mouth to say something— _anything_ —when Luka's sharp, familiar voice called out:

" _Evani_!"

The girl's head jerked at the sound, enough to where Dakota wondered if the word was a command or if it was the girl's name. For the first time, real emotion flooded the girl's face—a flash of longing quickly masked by a bitter scowl.

Dakota and the rest of the spectators turned to see Luka standing at the upper deck, staring down at the newcomer with hard lines of disappointment etched into her youthful face. The stranger stared right back as she released Maya from her earth-hold and Dakota felt instantly embarrassed at catching a glimpse of the look shared between them—it was both combative and intimate, something that sent all sorts of questions running through her mind.

Luka slowly made her way down the stairs to the training deck, never breaking eye contact with the newcomer.

" _Wi mav_ —" the Earthbender began, only to have Luka swiftly interrupt:

"Common-speak, please…unless you want to _continue_ embarrassing yourself and your Clan? First, you knock down an innocent, _injured_ girl. Next, you threaten the Lelino Second's daughter. I'd say you've done enough damage for one day," the blue-eyed gypsy snapped as she reached Dakota's side.

Evani's eyes narrowed. Without another word she stormed past Luka—careful not to touch her, Dakota couldn't help but notice—and swept through the doors leading down to the main meeting hall. The moment she and her companion left, the fight seemed to go out of Luka in a rush. Her shoulders slumped ever so slightly and her eyes lost their frosty edge—a much sadder weight replaced it.

Maya took a small step forward. "Luka—"

Luka's eyes flashed. "You behaved no better than she did, Maya. Go report to the kitchens—you're scrubbing pots for the rest of the day."

"But I was just—"

" _Go_ ," Luka barked. The sternness in her tone not only caused Maya to jump to obey but everyone else on deck as well.

Dakota, for one, wasn't quite sure if she was included in that command. When the people near her started to leave she took a hesitant step to follow but Luka's hand closed on her shoulder the moment she tried, effectively making it clear that no, she _wasn't_ included.

The moment they were alone Luka turned to Dakota and gently examined her bandaged wrists. The pale blue wrappings were more for Dakota's pride than for actual protection—the wounds had fully closed and no longer risked infection when exposed. With a concerned huff of breath, Luka summoned a small stream of water from the canteen attached to her belt.

Dakota wondered if it was normal, Luka's insane control over her element. Not only did the healer make the water go _through_ each individual cloth fiber of the bandaging in order to scan the patient's skin, she _also_ made sure that not one bit of moisture was left in the wrappings themselves. Surely that level of skill wasn't normal for one so young?

Dakota cleared her throat.

"I'm fine, really. She was just—" she started, but quickly fell silent at Luka's sharp look.

"No, don't make excuses for her. She had no right to treat you like that; end of story. I just…" Luka trailed off, and Dakota watched her expression flit between a series of emotion—frustration, anger, sadness—before she continued, "I wish I could show you the Evani that…the one I…"

The older gypsy stopped speaking; her mouth had twisted into an unhappy frown.

"I understand how that feels," Dakota murmured, looking down as the last of the water oozed itself out of the bandage and flowed back into the canteen. A surprised huff made her look up and find Luka staring down at her—the older girl's gaze was so intense, somehow managing to be effortlessly open and deeply hidden at the same time.

"I know you do," Luka said softly. Dakota realized what the girl was referring to and felt her entire body tense up as a result. Zuko was just as outwardly bitter and difficult to understand at first, but at his core he was gentle and caring. It was a side of him that so few took the time to discover.

Dakota scowled. "And look where it got me. I never thought he was…that he _could_ —"

The Waterbender helpfully stepped in when Dakota's voice broke. "It's hard to admit that the people we love are capable of terrible things," she said gently.

Dakota's head snapped up at that. She wanted to open her mouth and deny it, wanted to lessen the ache by trying to diminish the level of affection, but one look at Luka's unyielding expression let her know how useless the attempt would be.

"Shouldn't it change how we feel?" she finally whispered, afraid to speak too loudly for fear of being overheard. Who knew what would happen to her if anyone else learned of her continued feelings for the Fire Nation prince.

Luka laughed hollowly. "It should, shouldn't it? It's a pain in the ass, this whole 'love' thing. We think we're safe, we think we're in control and then _bam_ …we're madly in love with no idea how we got there."

Dakota opened her mouth to ask the question burning on the tip of her tongue, eyes drawn to the prominent tan line around Luka's left wrist—the amber-bead engagement bracelet that had been there when they met was noticeably absent—but lost her nerve at the last second. Luka didn't seem to notice the moment of indecision, simply giving her one last smile before stepping back.

"Go find Tali and ask for something to do. Keeping you out of the way will do everyone some good," the Waterbender suggested, clapping Dakota on the shoulder before beginning to turn towards the main meeting hall.

"Luka, I—" Dakota began, biting her lip when Luka turned back to face her. "I just want to say I'm sorry. It's obvious that I'm the reason Evani is so angry, and I just…I'm sorry for that. I don't want you or anyone else to suffer because of me being here."

Luka shook her head with a wry smile, reaching out to tuck an errant strand of hair behind Dakota's ear.

" _Sil ta frena fi dravu, mev ta frena fi wika_."

Dakota huffed. "I need to start taking lessons if you guys are going to keep—"

"It's an old gypsy saying: You can't fight for others if you're not also willing to fight for yourself."

And with that, the older girl turned and disappeared below deck.


	4. You'll Live A Half Life

A fairly quick chapter update...that is, it's quick in comparison to my usual sloth-like speed!

I'm preparing to head home after 2 years in Spain (Y'ALL DO WE REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I WAS GOING TO SPAIN? TWO YEARS HAS FLOWN BY?) and so my life is a bit of a whirlwind trying to get everything sorted and packed up. But I was determined to get something out to you guys, especially since this month and next month I wont have much time for writing. I'm headed to Colorado to start studying speech pathology, isn't that NEAT? (I'm super nervous send help and chocolate k thx)

 **Chapter Title Inspiration** : "Half Light" by Banners

I hope you guys like this chapter and as usual, if you like what you see and want to see more ASAP...

 _ **PLEASE REVIEW!** _

(Funny side-note...I wrote "please review" as "please update" 2 times before I got it right...Freudian slip, anyone?)

* * *

Chapter 4: You'll Live A Half Life

* * *

Zuko had spent so much of his youth wondering about the lavish feasts the Royal House would arrange for the nobles of the city, wondering and lamenting that he wasn't yet old enough to see for himself—fifteen was the traditional age to be allowed to attend. The feast was held on the night of the new moon, and as such had grated even more at his younger self to have to be sent to his rooms like a child every single month.

He wished he could go back in time and give his younger self a very solid smack to the head for such thoughts, because now he was sitting at his very first New Moon feast and he would pay ridiculous amounts of gold to be _anywhere_ else.

The eating had ended hours ago, taken over by excessive drinking and dancing, and _Spirits_ was it pointless. Men and women alike were drunkenly stumbling around and laughing too loudly at jokes that weren't the slightest bit funny, all the while dancing boisterously to music that was far too mellow for the pace they were setting.

The Fire Lord was absent, busy going over war plans, and as such Zuko was required to stay and represent the Royal Family. Azula had claimed to be sick—why hadn't Zuko done the same thing and escaped this disaster?

Oh yes, because he was stupidly curious and couldn't resist the opportunity to see if his younger self had been right to be envious of those allowed to attend. Something dark and guilty awoke in the back of his mind the longer he remained sitting at the Royal Table. He should have demanded to meet with his father to discuss the next steps in the war, he should have refused the invitation and done what he set out here to do!

And yet there he was, dressed up before the masses and hating himself for not being stronger-willed.

Someone slid into the open chair beside him and Zuko turned to snap at the newcomer to go away—only to stop mid-word because it was Mai.

"Good to know I'm not the only one suffering," she said, lifting her half-empty goblet of wine in a mocking salute before taking a deep drink. Her words were slurred slightly, but he only noticed because he was so attuned to her normal speaking voice; no one else would be able to tell, he was sure of it.

"I can't believe I used to think about sneaking into these things," he said under his breath, his lips quirking into a smile when Mai snorted in a very un-Mai like manner.

"Yeah, we were pretty stupid back then…but then again, here we are years later and we're _still_ stupid," she whispered back, her eyes focused firmly on the dancers. Zuko frowned at the sad lilt to her voice, and leaned over to gently extract the goblet from her hand.

"How many have you had?" he asked, trying to discern the answer for himself by examining her eyes. She swatted his hands but didn't resist when he managed to take the cup and put it far away from her.

"Not enough for my parents to notice, don't worry. I've been worse than this at New Moon, you know, and they don't care. I'd have to be bleeding out right in front of them for _that_ to happen."

Zuko's brow furrowed, and in an instant he made his decision. He stood, waving a dismissive hand at the nobles on his other side when they made to ask him where he was going before carefully helping Mai to her feet. He kept a hand on her lower back to steady her without making it look too obvious that he was doing so.

"Let's go for a walk," he said to her, loudly enough for those around them to hear. He thanked the Spirits that Mai was still coherent enough to play along; she only stumbled once, and that was when they reached the stairs leading to the outside hallways and that was out of range of most of the guests.

Once outside, he wrapped a hand around her waist more securely, walking with her in the direction of her rooms. She was quiet at his side, leaning into him in a way she never would have if she were sober, so close that he could smell the light floral scent of her perfume. It was sweet, sweeter than something he would have expected her to wear.

As a young boy he remembered being so in awe of how unyielding and untouchable Mai was, and so the image of her doing something as dainty and feminine as putting on perfume struck an interesting chord. That was something else he'd tell his younger self: never determine a woman's character by what they present to the world. He had done it with Mai and later with Dakota—and with the latter of the two he had very quickly learned that particular lesson.

He smiled sheepishly at the memory of Dakota standing up to yell at him in Zhao's military tent, her usually timid eyes bright and feverish with the force of her anger. Back then he had brushed off the tingle of warmth he felt in the base of his spine as a mixture of shock and disdain, but the reality of it was that he had thought about that exchange for _days_ afterward. One morning he had even woken up gasping from a _very_ interesting dream involving—

"What's so funny?" Mai suddenly asked, and he turned to see that she was watching him, her eyes wide and open as if she had spotted something incredible. Drunkenness did strange things to a person, Zuko knew, and for a moment he wished he could indulge—if he were actually here to be the Prince of the Fire Nation and not a spy, he probably would.

"Just thinking about how I used to be so jealous of you—of how you wouldn't take anything from _anyone_. I always felt like an awkward komodo-rhino in comparison, especially when Azula was around," he said, laughing quietly when her face scrunched up in disbelief.

"I was quiet and the good Fire Nation nobleman's daughter, that's all. But you…you were _you_. You've _always_ been you and it's the bravest thing I've ever seen."

Zuko blinked at the earnestness in her voice, focusing on his steps for a few seconds rather than respond. He felt the guilt creeping back in, then, because he _wasn't_ being himself, not really. Or at least, he didn't feel like he was, but Mai's words sparked a bit of doubt in him.

Was this who he was meant to be?

They reached the gardens just outside the entry hall to the noblemen's quarters and Mai stopped suddenly, moving around him to walk down into the torch-lit gardens. Zuko let her, following close behind because he was unsure of how her balance would fare with the pathways' cobblestones.

"Do you remember this place?"

Zuko looked around at her question, taking in the shadowy fountain and the small pond just beyond it. In a flash, memories of cruel laughter and an apple catching fire atop a much younger Mai's head.

He grimaced. "I'm still sorry for how I tackled you into the water."

"I'm not."

Zuko turned to look at her; she was smiling at the fountain, her eyes years away. She caught him staring at her and glanced down at her feet before continuing:

"It was the first time anyone cared enough to get me out of harm's way. Azula did it to embarrass me and make you look foolish, but all she succeeded in doing was make me like you even more."

She wobbled as she spoke, and Zuko instinctively reached out to steady her, putting his hands on her hips as she regained her balance. They were standing so close that he could see the flecks of darker bronze in her golden eyes, so close that her hair brushed against the front of his shirt.

Her gaze flickering down to his mouth was the only warning he received before she leaned up—not too far, because she was nearly as tall as he was—and kissed him.

That same doubt from before settled itself more securely in his chest because deep down, he was _tired_ of dreaming of Dakota. Not tired of thinking of her, not regretful for having known her, _never_ that. But how long could he be happy with the same sadness coating his tongue every morning, every day mourning the same impossible dream of holding her once more. Whether the Fire Nation won or lost, he was never going to see her again—he trusted that Katara would see to that, if for no one else than for Dakota's sake. He needed to do his part in helping the Avatar, of course, but he also needed to start accepting that his future didn't have Dakota in it—that he didn't _deserve_ one with her in it.

And so he kissed Mai back, tasting the wine on her lips and wishing he was intoxicated enough to not feel the hiss of betrayal that came with the now-unfamiliar pressure of her mouth against his.

The clicking of shoes pierced through the moment, making both of them jump apart and look towards the source.

Azula was leaning against a pillar of the hallway; her form brightly lit from the nearby torch and her smile positively wicked in the firelight.

"Oh please, don't stop on my account! It's nice for long-laid plans to finally yield fruit, don't you think?" she simpered, batting her eyelashes in Mai's direction. Zuko felt Mai's body stiffen in his arms, saw her expression harden into its usual indifferent mask, and with a quiet 'goodnight' to Zuko she withdrew and unhurriedly made her way to the entrance to the noblemen's sector.

Zuko waited until she was gone before turning and making his way to the opposite side of the garden, intending on going to his rooms. He was almost to the archway when Azula's voice called out:

"It's nice to see you adjusting so well, Zu-Zu," she said gleefully, languidly crossing the garden to stand before him. He refused to let his irritation show—whether the anger was directed at himself or Azula, he couldn't quite say.

"Aren't you supposed to be playing sick?" he bit out. She laughed, flipping long, unbound hair over one shoulder.

"For all of my jokes, brother, I truly am happy for you," Azula commented in a softer tone, soft enough to fool some but not him—never him.

"Happy to be humiliating someone, you mean," he threw back, quickly enough that Azula seemed the slightest bit surprised at the sharpness of his barb. It was quickly covered by her usual smirk, however.

"I'm just saying, it's good to see that you've finally come to your senses about these things. Sure, the Dakota girl—"

"Don't—" Zuko angrily tried to cut her off, trying to tamp down the twinge of pain that came with hearing her name because _oh Spirits he had kissed someone_ else.

Azula continued as if he hadn't spoken:

"—was a nice distraction, something for life in exile, but you're a _prince_. It's logical to match with someone who understands you, who can support you in your role."

"I'm going to bed," Zuko said through gritted teeth, turning on his heel and walking away.

"Sweet dreams, Zu-Zu," Azula replied in a lilting, almost mocking tone, and Zuko prided himself on the fact that he didn't flinch at the use of that dreaded nickname or hesitate in his retreat.

Inside, however, he felt weak and trembling.

 _Is this who I'm meant to be?_

* * *

Katara leaned heavily against the metal railing of the stolen Fire Nation ship. Aang hadn't yet noticed that she practically fled the room every night after finishing their healing sessions but she wasn't naïve enough to think that he wouldn't catch on eventually. Maybe he already had and was playing dumb to make her feel better. It sounded like something Aang would do—sweet, kind, _perceptive_ Aang.

Had he always been so observant, or had the accumulation of their travels together finally reached a point to where her eyes were forced to open and really _see_ him?

The night air blew harshly against the exposed skin of her arms and she instinctively hugged herself in an attempt to stave off the chill. Part of her yearned to go back inside, back to the warmth of the heaters and the comforting sounds of her father and brother regaling the rest with tales of their respective journeys but a stronger urge kept her right where she was.

The Oasis water around her neck—normally she didn't notice it, accustomed to the weight by now—seemed to be pulling her down with every passing second.

Katara had been so close to using it, so _close_ …but Aang had blinked awake before she could, his eyes far away and glazed over but it didn't matter because he was _alive_! If she closed her eyes she could almost feel herself back in Appa's saddle that night, staring down at her friend as he fell back into unconsciousness and not even trying to hold back the sobs of relief as she clutched him close to her chest. Sokka hadn't tried to pull her away, surprisingly, instead just wrapping his arms around them both and holding on tight. Toph had joined them a moment later; one calloused hand had snaked in to wrap around Katara's wrist and the other rested gently on Aang's shoulder.

The Waterbender's back straightened at the sound of the cabin door opening with a quiet creak. Bare feet pattered across the metal deck and the distinctive sound made her relax—only one person she knew chose to go barefoot everywhere.

"Hey Toph," she murmured. The Earthbender in question grunted in acknowledgement, leaning against the railing alongside her. Katara looked over to see the blind girl's face turned out towards the horizon. Absentmindedly she wondered how it felt when Toph was on a boat. Was it then that her blindness became true blindness? Sure, the ship was metal, but Toph had told her once that being on solid ground let her see so much more than what was right in front of her.

Katara let the silence grow, content to breathe deeply and enjoy the smell of ocean salt, and Toph didn't seem in any hurry to break it.

Finally, a long time later, Toph tilted her head slightly in Katara's direction.

"Sooo…what's wrong?"

Katara let out a huff of amusement. "I'm just tired—"

"Try again."

The Waterbender blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Try. Again," Toph said slowly, as if Katara were a small child. "I'm a lie-detector, remember?"

Katara opened her mouth to protest but after a moment closed it and let out a sigh instead. Her chest clenched, as it always did when she let her mind get too close to Aang's injury and the events preceding it. It was why she couldn't be in the same room as Aang for very long, why looking into his gentle gray eyes made her stomach twist with a guilt so powerful it almost made her want to vomit.

"I…" she began, but trailed off when words escaped her. Her stomach was definitely hurting her now, tears of frustration and anger—anger at Zuko, anger at herself for listening to him—filling her eyes.

Toph's hand slid over to cover Katara's, the touch surprisingly gentle considering the person it came from.

"You're not gonna scare me off, I promise. Just say it."

Katara let out a shaky laugh at that even as tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. How could Toph say that without even knowing what Katara had done?

"Zuko…" she started, having to stop to suck in a deep breath. "He and I were locked up together, and I…I was so _stupid_ —"

"Oh Spirits, did you _kiss_ him?"

Toph's horrified question was so unexpected that it actually helped loosen the tension in Katara's chest. She laughed, a real laugh this time, and vehemently shook her head before remembering she had to actually say something due to Toph's blindness.

" _No_!" she said, scrubbing at her tears and sending Toph a half-hearted glare. The shorter girl was already glaring right back, the Earthbender's sightless eyes somehow finding hers as they always did.

"Well _excuse_ me, but your voice kept getting higher and your heartbeat sped up in the way that _always_ means funny business—"

Katara snorted. "No, Toph, I didn't…do _that_. Zuko and I were locked up in there together, and…and he offered to send us information from the Fire Nation, information that would help us defeat his father," she explained. "I'm…I'm the reason he was able to walk free and later find us in the cavern. He told me he wanted to help us and protected me from falling rocks, but then he… _he_ …"

The calm dissipated as her tears returned with a vengeance. Aang could have _died_ and all because Katara was stupid enough to believe that Zuko actually wanted to help and deserved a chance to prove himself. She should have disabled him in some way, sent him and his uncle back the way they came rather than risk them helping Azula. She had been so _stupid_!

Toph was silent for several moments, her expression focused in a way that made her seem years older than she actually was.

"Katara," she began in a hushed voice. "I think Zuko was telling the truth. Aang said it himself—Zuko could have killed him, but _chose_ not to. Think about it: if he hadn't done it, Azula would have, and that would have—"

That made Katara pause. "Aang told you _what_? _"_ she almost shrieked.

Toph scowled. "He told me a few nights ago—but he would have told _you_ first if you hadn't kept running away before he could get a non-injury related word in!"

Katara flinched at the accusation in her friend's tone, and found that she couldn't quite refute it. It was true, she _had_ been running away, and she spent a few seconds cursing her own cowardice.

"Katara," Toph said, her eyes bright with energy even in their sightlessness. "This is _big_! We have someone in the Fire Nation, someone who wants to help us, and you wasted all this time feeling sorry for yourself!" the Earthbender hissed.

"Okay, _first off_ , I thought _I_ was the reason Aang got hurt, so you can take that tone and just—"

"We have to tell Aang and Sokka! Come _on_!"

Katara yelped as Toph grabbed her hand and yanked her towards the cabin door. Before they could reach the entrance, however, the blind girl stopped and turned her head slightly in Katara's direction.

"Sorry about…I just…" Toph attempted, her tone hesitant in a way that made most of Katara's irritation fade away. "I _know_ what it's like to feel responsible for someone getting hurt. You're not alone, kay? So don't shut us out next time. We were all worried about you—the boys are just too scared of you to actually say anything."

The Waterbender felt new tears well up, this time due to a different emotion entirely, and before she could lose her nerve she leaned down to give Toph a tight hug.

"Thank you," she whispered. The younger girl let the embrace linger for a few short seconds before pulling away and facing anywhere but in Katara's direction.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm awesome, I know," she muttered, and Katara wisely said nothing about the pink color that had risen to the girl's cheeks in favor of keeping her fingers intact—Toph had quite a solid grip on them, after all.

Without another word, the two girls disappeared below deck, letting the heavy metal door creak shut behind them.

* * *

Miles and miles away from that particular Fire Nation ship, a starlit boat rocked back and forth in the Ba Sing Se port, lazily testing the strength of the rope keeping it securely tied to the dock. Two figures approached the ship, one of them tall and muscular while the other slender and curved. The smaller figure was leading, stride sure and determined. The taller of two kept having to jog to catch up, the tension in the shoulders clear even in the dim light.

"You're sure?" the taller one asked, his voice quiet enough to not carry—they were alone at the dock, sure, but it never hurt to be careful.

"I stood by and did nothing for _years_ the last time I was in that place, and then continued to do nothing for years after _that_ —enough is enough," the shorter figure replied, her voice gentle even with her hands clenched into tight fists.

"You told me that going back there would be suicide!"

"That was before he called for help."

"It's a call for help I'm perfectly able to answer on my own," the tall man asserted.

"Looking like _you_ do? Oh darling, you really are a Ba Sing Se citizen through and through—the other nations aren't _nearly_ as accommodating to outsiders."

"What happened to not wanting to risk being recognized?"

"I'll never get close enough to anyone who has anything to do with those who would even come _close_ to recognizing me."

The man reached out to grab the woman's arm. She reluctantly allowed the touch, pausing long enough to turn and look at him.

"Are you _sure_?" he asked once more.

The woman tilted her head at him, her face hidden by the thick shroud she wore. She turned to search the horizon, reaching down to grab the hand of her companion as they both turned towards the ship.

With her free hand, the woman reached up to unclip her veil, eyeing the thing with open distaste before carelessly tossing the garment away. It floated on the breeze for only a moment before sinking down into the blackness of the water.

Ursa of the Fire Nation smiled at the feeling of the ocean air against her uncovered cheeks—it had been _years_ since she had dared to show her face outside the safety of her flower shop walls. Freshly cut hair fell against her shoulders and sharp golden eyes scanned the horizon as an almost-forgotten fire began to tickle the skin of her palms.

"It's time to go home."


	5. Running Near On Empty

Hello hello! Long time no see, eh? Life has been so so hectic lately, as I've been re-adjusting to life back in the States and working my buns off here in Colorado. I love my job (currently doing outdoor education) but goddamn is it tiring, both physically and mentally. Not to mention I've been struggling with adult life/romance issues and so my brain has been in a lot of stressful places these past few months. Y'all are troopers for sticking with me! I promise that I'm in this till the end - no matter how sporadic my updates may be.

So this is a rough re-entry into this story, because I was tired of letting my blocked muse get in the way of continuing Dakota's tale. Forgive me if it feels rough, because it is, but I also am pretty pleased with how it turned out considering how stubbornly i wrote it haha. On the plus side, we get a new POV! Originally i was planning on just keeping it within the main benders (aka Aang, Katara, Zuko, Toph and Dakota) but quickly decided nah to that, cuz we have a ton of cool characters that I'm dying to delve into! Don't worry, an Obi POV is in the works for all of you Obi fans (if there even are any)!

 **Chapter Title Inspiration** : "Fade" by Lewis Capaldi

As always, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter! If you like it and have any thoughts/concerns/an intense desire for more...

 _ **PLEASE REVIEW!**_

* * *

Chapter 5: Running Near On Empty

* * *

Dakota's dreams were troubled, full of pressure on her chest and the feeling of a giant hand pulling her into icy water. No, not icy; the ocean had shifted into the cool rush of a glowing river—the river that had drawn her away from the trail, away from _everything_.

 _True sacrifice is made out of love_ , the Ocean Spirit said to her, his voice deceptively gentle considering he had just dragged her into the sea and was most likely drowning Zhao somewhere nearby.

Just as Dakota was beginning to panic—not from lack of air, because she was dreaming and it wasn't real, but from the memory of it all—the touch of a familiar hand on her cheek chased away the cold.

With a shuddering gasp her eyes opened. She was lying in one of many fields of gray grass, a melancholy song floating along the edges of her awareness. Elysium, she had half-jokingly named it all those months ago. Being there meant that—

"It's been a while, Dakota," Hadyn's voice commented from beside her, the sound quickly followed by hot fingers brushing against Dakota's forearms. She couldn't help the flinching that resulted, her entire body jolting away from the sudden contact. Hadyn's breath caught at that and Dakota found that she couldn't quite find the strength to look up at the spirit sitting beside her.

What was there to say?

"Azula will _suffer_ for this," Hadyn promised, her voice soft but carrying enough rage to effectively chill the air. Dakota shook her head as she forced herself to meet the spirit's gaze. Those black eyes were difficult to read but she managed to catch a glimpse of the sadness lurking in them.

" _No_ ," Dakota said vehemently. "It'll only continue the cycle and I just…I _can't_ ," she whispered, wishing she was dressed in her usual long sleeved tunic so she could pull something over the scars. She'd have to resign herself to the fact that in this odd world, she wore old jean-shorts and a red tank top. Part of her wondered how she ever found the shorts comfortable—after so long without them, the fabric felt rough and clung uncomfortably to her skin.

Another part was glad that her mind hadn't forgotten where she came from, hadn't let her forget the lemony smell of the detergent her family used and the coins she had stored away in the tight pockets. Almost instinctively she reached in and counted them—they came together to form one dollar, just enough for the popsicles sold at the corner store near her house. She and Henry always stopped by there on their way back from family hikes—

"Dakota, focus! I don't have much time," the fire spirit exclaimed.

A spark of anger took shape in Dakota's chest because was that _guilt_ in Hadyn's gaze?

"Funny, you've always got _just_ enough time to pop into my head and whisper some vague stuff to me but never enough to actually _help._ Tell me," she coldly commanded, lifting her arms so that the burns were within the spirit's direct line of sight. "Did you know that _this_ was going to happen?"

Hadyn's gaze lowered. "You need to understand, I couldn't—"

"Did you _know_?" Dakota repeated, pushing up until she was on her feet and looming over the spirit. An icy touch of horror slid down her spine as the silence stretched longer and longer with no response.

No, the silence _was_ the response.

Dakota choked out a slightly hysterical laugh before turning and running away into the grass fields. Ignoring the sounds of Hadyn calling her name and scrambling to follow, she began to search for an exit. Pausing, she tried imagining a door before her, a way _out_ , only to let out a low curse when she opened her eyes to find nothing but rippling grass. Shouldn't she be able to _control_ this stupid in-between world?

"I'm so sorry—" the spirit began.

Dakota didn't let her finish, whirling around with fire tingling at her fingertips.

"I don't _care_!" she screamed. Hadyn's face sagged in shock but Dakota didn't care, barely even noticed, because the anger had narrowed her focus until it was a burning thing, on the verge of setting the grass around them aflame.

"I don't _care_ that you're sorry because guess what? I almost _died_ ," Dakota seethed. "Zuko chose to betray us and go back to his abusive father and psychopath of a sister—but I guess you knew about that, too? Aang, the _only_ hope for this entire world, is _dead_. What is the goddamn _point_ of spirit magic if you're all too high and mighty to actually _use_ it?"

Hadyn's eyes shone with a reddish glow and her sharp teeth flashed as she snarled in anger. The sound was so reminiscent of an animal that it made Dakota's anger stop in its tracks—surprise briefly replaced it.

"We _can't_ interfere in the way you humans want! Part of _having_ the power is the curse of not being able to prevent terrible things from happening! I tried to help, I did, but there's only so much I can do from the other side."

Dakota gritted her teeth. "And all that crap when we met, about me dying? What was _that_ , then?"

Hadyn's mouth opened but closed just as quickly. The spirit's fire-hair flickered, an extension of the dark emotion currently clouding her expression.

"The futures of human change so quickly that it's impossible to know for sure what they hold. In that moment, I didn't know we were bonded, and thought…"

She trailed off, turning her face away.

"I had never had a human _see_ me before," she admitted in a rush. "I thought you were just like the others, unable to hear me even as I whispered bits and pieces of their future that I had seen."

Dakota frowned. "I thought spirits were only connected to their specific humans?"

The corner of Hadyn's mouth quirked downward. "During the Solstices, we gain the ability to travel beyond the boundaries of the Spirit World. Coming into contact with the other world gives us glimpses of what comes after—for humans, the feeling is like when a breeze blows and you get a sudden chill."

Dakota's skin suddenly crawled with that same chill; as if Hadyn's words were the breeze she spoke of.

"So you saw my future."

Hadyn's eyes snapped to her at the hollow deadness to her tone. In an instant she was embracing Dakota tightly, the warmth seeping through the chill and scaring away some of the panic. The spirit's heat felt both familiar and foreign, like a childhood memory that was heavily muddled by the passage of time.

"My vision wasn't specific enough to say when or where, but Dakota, of _course_ you'll die—all humans do! I said it because I…I was angry at humanity for having…" Again she paused, and this time her voice tightened with barely restrained emotion.

"They have an end, a finite amount of time, and so if there's pain it can't last for long. Their lives are a series of ups and downs; it's in their _nature_ to change and move forward. Meanwhile, I…I simply _am_. I was…."

Dakota thought about the snarky fire-spirit she had met that night so long ago, remembered the eerie gleam in those black eyes. The gleam had been _envy_ , she now realized.

"Jealous," Dakota finished. Hadyn huffed angrily but jerked her head in a quick nod.

"Pretending I was happy about humans dying helped me forget that I never would—that I can't _change_ no matter how much I want to," Hadyn muttered. Dakota frowned at that.

"But you're bonded to me—doesn't that mean our lives are linked?"

Hadyn's lips twitched in a sad smile. "I thought so for a while, but Roku oh-so-kindly reminded me that I had existed long before you, and therefore our bond is an incomplete one. Your existence in this world is bound to things greater than simple elemental spirits and so if you die…I'll continue on. It's what I deserve, most would say."

Dakota blinked back tears at the raw pain curling along the edges of Hadyn's matter-of-fact tone.

"You deserve to _choose_ ," she snapped to no one in particular. Hadyn gasped at that, her eyes wide as she stared up at her like she had never seen Dakota before. Without warning, the spirit burst into sobs, tears of fire trickling down pale red cheeks. Dakota panicked, trying to calm the spirit while also wracking her brain for what she had done _wrong_.

After a few minutes, Dakota realized that the spirit was smiling through the tears.

"I do, don't I?" Hadyn said, almost hesitantly, as if she were afraid someone would overhear. Dakota didn't answer, staring out into the gray fields and wishing more than anything that there was a way for her to see what Zuko was doing right now—even if it was something bad, she longed to just _see_ him, to take in the

Hadyn's hand slowly touched hers. Dakota allowed it, forcing back the tiny flicker of panic and letting the warmth soothe rather than aggravate.

"I try not to check up on him too often, because I can feel _your_ sadness when I look at him, but every now and then I take a peek…"

Dakota's chest tightened to the point of pain. She bit down on her tongue, _hard_ , to prevent herself from asking all of the questions begging to be asked. Hadyn's warmth increased, silently combating the sensation of sinking deeper into the cold darkness that surrounded thoughts of Zuko.

"He thinks about you all the time, Dakota."

Dakota jerked her head to the side as it to avoid the jabbing ache that accompanied Hadyn's admission, but the pain came all the same. If he thought about her so much then why did he stay gone? Thinking about her meant _what_ , exactly?

The world was shifting again. She had felt it enough times to recognize it for what it was—she was waking up, which dissolved the dream world in which spirit and mortal planes could meet.

Dakota turned to look at Hadyn. The spirit was staring right back at her, her dark eyes—once so inhuman and unnerving—alight with fiery determination.

"I'm here and I'm _fighting_ for you. You're not allowed to give up, you hear me?" the spirit demanded, lifting one hand and calling a flame to her palm. Dakota felt the heat even from a distance, felt the burning call to keep _going_ , and couldn't help but lift her hand in response. If she closed her eyes, she could almost fool herself into thinking that the fire was _hers._

The threat of tears burned behind Dakota's closed eyelids.

"I can't…I haven't been able to since…" she breathed, breaking off when the words threatened to shift into sobs.

"What did I tell you the second time we met, when you couldn't even make _smoke_?" Hadyn asked, the question sudden enough to make Dakota open her eyes and stare down at the smiling spirit.

Reddish-gold fingers drifted down to press into the place where Dakota's heart steadily beat.

"Love freely—" the spirit began.

"—and the fire will come," Dakota reluctantly finished, putting her hand over Hadyn's much hotter, dryer one. "But how can I do that when Zuko—"

Hadyn's eyes sharpened just enough to make Dakota remember just how _not_ human she was.

"Why are you so convinced that the love has to be for someone _else_?"

And with that, the world shrank and shrank, fading into blissful darkness. The last thing Dakota felt before opening her eyes to the wooden ceiling of her cabin was the heat of Hadyn's hand burning an unseen brand on her skin.

* * *

Luka was in the middle of a loud and unproductive meeting with the other clans' scouts concerning trading routes when sounds of yelling and rough collisions reached them below deck. At the sound she raised her hand to command silence, feeling a brief flash of pride at how the room immediately quieted. The many years of demonstrating her strength—and the very public showing of that strength against those who ignored or underestimated her—hadn't been wasted, it seemed.

"Typical Lelino _tsumien_ ," Oman muttered under his breath, inciting a ripple of chuckles among the gathered gypsies. If it had been anyone else, Luka wouldn't have hesitated to show him or her the true definition of 'savages'. As it was, the Treska Clan scout's brand of humor was an acquired taste but never malicious and so the Waterbender let it slide.

"Continue with the meeting while I deal with this," Luka curtly commanded, ignoring the murmurs that followed her when she turned to ascend the ladder leading to the upper deck. Spirits, the scouts were as bad as the healers sometimes—ruthless gossips to the core, the lot of them.

She wrenched open the circular door with much more force than necessary. The sounds of fighting were louder, now, and Luka felt irritation tickling across her skin as she swung herself up and turned toward the training decks. Normally she didn't mind a good, rowdy training session, but thanks to the unexpected Rena Clan's— _not just the Clan's,_ a nasty reminder came from the depths of her mind, _but_ her—presence, tension was her constant companion.

As if hearing her innermost thoughts, she stepped onto the platform overlooking the training area and almost collided with Evani's back. The lean, muscular shoulders shifted as the Earthbender turned—probably to snap at whoever dared to invade her space, even if by accident—but when her kohl-lined green eyes met Luka's, the girl's mouth snapped shut.

Luka's jaw tightened at the gentling of Evani's gaze and she pushed past the gypsy to see what in the world was going on below.

Two female gypsies were wrestling in the circle of chalk, the shorter of the two's face bloodied in a way that was never allowed on Lelino territory. Her heart nearly stopped when she recognized the pale, unnatural golden hair. She lurched forward, about to yell for the combatants to stop because Dakota wasn't anywhere _near_ ready for serious combat yet!

"What, afraid that your little pet will get hurt?" Evani's voice murmured close to her ear, the other girl's body so close Luka could feel the heat of her even through the layers of clothing. Her mind couldn't help but flash back to times spent just like this, Evani's hands sliding down Luka's ribcage as the taller gypsy's hips pressed forward and effectively caged her in—

" _You_ did this," Luka seethed as she turned to confront Evani head on, not caring that the girl had managed to evoke such a strong emotion from her and not _caring_ that she was supposed to be remote and detached.

Evani shrugged. "Hey, the _reskimala_ started it. Wiat is just defending herself, that's all," she said.

Luka knew, as surely as she knew that she was a Waterbender, that the Evani was lying but also knew that the Earthbender would never admit it.

She heard a hit land, _hard_ , behind her, and turned to see that Dakota had taken another hard punch to the face. The girl was gasping for breath but there was something sharp and almost _electric_ in her expression that made the Waterbender pause. It was the first time since rescuing the girl that Luka had seen her look fully, truly _alive._

"If you interfere now, the Clans will never respect the Lelino's claim to her—you know it, don't you?" Evani's tone was soft, softer than Luka had heard in months.

The last time she had heard the softness had been the last night they spent together before Evani had been sent away on Rena Clan business, bodies desperately pressed together in Luka's bed as they stole their last touches until after the Gypsy Gathering, when they would be reunited and _finally_ be—

Luka felt a familiar hotness swelling behind her eyelids and grimaced to erase the sensation. She wasn't a child that fell blindly in love and broke just as quickly; she was the next Chieftess of the Lelino Clan and she would _not_ dwell on things that would never be.

"All I know is that you threw one of your best fighters into the ring with a girl who's still recovering from being tortured by the Fire Nation Princess and then left to die in an ice-cell," she snapped, ignoring Evani's sharp intake of breath and instead keeping her eyes locked on the slender Firebender who was fighting with everything she had.

But would that be enough?

* * *

Dakota had been minding her own business when Wiat had picked a fight with her. Ignoring her had been easy at first, like ignoring Henry on the days he purposefully chose to push at her buttons, but then she had started talking about Zuko.

 _"I hear that you're sweet on the Fire Nation Prince. I always knew that your kind were bloodthirsty, but to actively chase after a_ murderer _? That's low, even for a Firebender. Tell me, how did it feel to know that he left you for dead? After all that's happened I can't say I'm surprised—"_

Dakota's fist had slammed into the girl's gut before she could think to walk away. And instead of feeling guilt or surprise at her violent reaction, she had felt _pride_. Gone was the girl who ducked her head and accepted the abuse, gone was the crying, sniveling girl from before.

The Firebender spat out a glob of blood as she dodged Wiat's next jab, remembering Iroh's lessons and trying to breathe as steadily as she could: if she panicked, she was lost.

Wiat had stopped smiling a few hits ago, the skin of her cheek marred with a slowly forming bruise. Dakota eyed the coloring flesh with a surge of smugness—sure, her right wrist hated her for landing such a solid blow, but it had been worth it to see the arrogance fade from the older girl's eyes. Served her right for being a goddamnn _bully_.

"I'm done playing around, _eria_ ," Wiat spat; the emphasis on the last word made it clear it was a slur of some kind. A careful mixture of pain and adrenaline made Dakota brave, brave enough to shoot back:

"Too bad I don't speak that language, otherwise I'm sure I would have been _devastated_ at what you just called me," she mocked, laughing almost hysterically when Wiat responded with a solid push to her stomach with the aid of a solid disk of earth she had created from the pouch of dirt at her waist. The skin felt hot to the touch when Dakota rolled to her front, propping herself up on her elbows as she coughed past the nausea rising in her gut.

Wiat advanced, her dark brown eyes snapping in a way that they hadn't before. "You don't deserve to wear that shell," the girl hissed, gaze locked on the red shell hanging from Dakota's neck.

Dakota staggered to her feet, reaching up to touch the necklace in question.

"Jealous?"

Wiat let out a cry of pure rage, lashing out with her bending once more, but this time Dakota was ready, jumping up to avoid the sweeping line of earth underfoot and calling on that fire that had evaded her grasp for so long. For the first time since her arrival into the Avatar world, she didn't think about Zuko—or even Iroh—when she sought out that inner flame inside of her. She didn't think about Zuko's warm golden eyes as he reached out a hand in order to share fire, she didn't think of Iroh's steady strength as he demonstrated a more complex Firebending technique.

No, this time she thought of Aang. His life was over but his _world_ wasn't. The universe that Henry adored so much was still there, still _alive_ , and Dakota felt a surge of something deep and foreign as she lunged forward.

I'm _still here; I'm still able to fight for that happy ending—_

White-hot fire exploded from her palm before she could focus too intently on the strange energy surge. The feeling of that warmth after so many weeks without it was so comforting that tears sprung to her eyes. It was Hadyn's fire, she realized, and the thought filled her with renewed strength.

She wasn't alone in this.

Wiat's shriek filled the air as the fire singed at her skin. Dakota didn't stop her assault—she advanced just as Wiat had advanced, the small bursts of fire she sent around the girl's form making her dodge and scramble for cover until she tripped over her own feet and fell hard on her backside.

Dakota kept the fire in her hands, crouching down despite the protest of her abdomen and holding the flames up for Wiat to see. The girl's eyes were wide, scared, and with a quick gesture Dakota let the fire dissipate. The training area was quiet as a graveyard, the collective shock a heavy haze in the air.

"That wasn't for Zuko," she loudly announced, because everyone needed to hear it if she was ever going to move forward. Her eyes caught movement from above and something inside of her loosened when she caught Luka's eye. The Waterbender was standing beside Evani, the two gypsies staring at her—the taller with an impassive quirk to her brow, the shorter proudly smiling.

Dakota turned back to Wiat, staring down at the dumbstruck gypsy for a moment before reaching out a hand to help the girl up. The dark-eyed girl stared at the hand as if expecting it to burst into flame again, her expression shocked and conflicted, but to Dakota's surprise she only hesitated for a second or two before reaching up and grasping the offered appendage.

After pulling Wiat up, Dakota held on for a brief moment longer, gripping the hand tightly as she said:

"That was for me."


	6. Tear It Down Piece By Piece

Hello my beloved readers! It's been too long, way too long (and too short of a chapter, considering how long i've been away) but I'm back! This chapter was one of the hardest chapter I've ever had to write because I knew what I wanted but the words just refused to come out in a way that I liked but I pushed through and I'm fairly pleased with what I've decided to post!

...PROGRESS.

I'm hoping this chapter doesnt throw too many of you for too big of a loop or make you side-eye me like "Sapphire, beesh, what is you DOING?" but if it does...I promise, what's happening is NOT for shock value or to "get back" at anyone. I wasn't kidding when I said we would tackle more mature stuff in this book, y'all. Pain and lust and uncertainty and different coping methods (methods that you may or may not agree with) are included in that.

 **Now, to the Corona shaped elephant in the room** : The world is going through a really rough time right now and so I just want to take a moment to send a bit of love to everyone reading this and to all of your families/friends/loved ones. It's okay to be stressed, it's okay to not have good days and to not be perfectly okay with all the change/isolation that's happening. Know that it's normal to feel angry/scared/upset at this - it's an upsetting time! Just know that you are absolutely not alone in feeling this way! If any of you need to talk/vent/cry, my message inbox is always open and I'm happy to support to the best of my ability!

Please stay home, please keep yourselves and those around you safe, take some serious introspective time to get to know yourself and your loved ones better (everyone's free to text/call/FaceTime so TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT) and focus on what you can do to stay healthy/stay mentally stable during this time. I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety and stress due to the virus, which has lent itself to an even harder time writing/feeling motivated to write about anything but pain and sadness. Some days are good, others are bad, and I'm trying to be okay with the ups and downs. I was jobless for a week, which was panic-inducing, but I've found work now and I'm starting to feel like I might get through this. So yay for baby steps!

It's as our Lord (of tea) and Savior (of angsty, yet endearing, honor-obsessed morons) Iroh says: **_"Sometimes life is like this dark tunnel. You can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you just keep moving, you will come to a better place."_**

Let's all be kind to each other and to ourselves, and spread love instead of feelings of fear and hopelessness.

On that note, let's get to the chapter!

 **Chapter Title Inspiration:** "Demons", by Jacob Lee

If you have any questions, concerns or excited shrieking...

PLEASE REVIEW!

* * *

Chapter 6: Tear It Down Piece By Piece

* * *

Several weeks after the New Moon Festival Zuko found himself having lunch with Mai in his mother's gardens, as was their routine. The small notebook where he had begun storing the snippets of information about his father's next moves was secure in the inner pocket of his tunic—it never left his person except for when he slept, and even then it was tied to his wrist.

Zuko found himself distracted during the meal because it had been _weeks_ and his uncle had yet to respond in any way to the note.

 _What did you expect him to do? He's in_ prison _,_ Zuko mentally chided, frustrated at both his lack of foresight as well as the continued silence from the person he needed to talk to the most. The discomfort grew to the point that he lost all interest in his lunch—grilled fish and spiced potatoes; some of his favorites—and had to push the half-eaten plate away. Mai noticed his lack of appetite immediately and reached over to run a hand through his hair. Her fingers were long and perfectly manicured and for a moment he wanted nothing more than to push them away because they weren't _hers_.

But he restrained himself, because Mai was only trying to help and she didn't deserve to be punished for something outside of her control.

"You okay?" she asked quietly, too quietly for any passerby to overhear. That small consideration made him smile; Mai understood the importance of appearances better than most. He nodded, gently but firmly pulling her hand from his hair—there were some places that she just couldn't touch, not now and maybe never. To soften the blow he laced their fingers together and rested the joined hands on his knee.

"Yeah, just tired," he lied, feeling a mixture of relief and irritation when she nodded without argument and continued eating.

Dakota never would have let it drop—she would have placed herself in front of him and stared him down before holding out her hand to share fire because she knew how hard it was for him to say the words sometimes. Or maybe she would have dropped it as easily as Mai; perhaps _he_ was in the wrong for placing her on a pedestal.

A sour feeling twisted in his gut at that and all at once the smells and heat of the garden became too much for him. With a half-hearted excuse to Mai he exited the courtyard and took comfort in the darker tunnels. His skin felt overly warm, especially when considering how short of a time he had spent in the sunlight. He let his feet lead him, not paying much attention to where he was going, and blinked when he found himself in the throne room. His father was visiting a neighboring lord that day and so the chamber was entirely empty, though the flames that led to the throne were still lit—they always were, even at night.

Zuko had been in the throne room several times since returning home but there was something utterly different about walking towards the throne alone. The fire roared on either side but the sound was muted due to his focus being on the ornate chair situated so high above the rest. With every step, a different memory flooded his mind, some from when he was but a child but most of them from the final days of his time in the Fire Nation before his banishment. How confident and ignorant he had been back then to think that his title of "prince" made him untouchable.

The young man reached the steps leading up to the throne and slowly ascended them. His skin crawled when the embers to his right let out a particularly loud hiss and another memory came back to him, then, this one somehow more jarring than all the rest.

He…he had _done_ this before. Not in real life, but in that strange dream he had had that day in Ba Sing Se. Heart pounding, Zuko turned around, half-expecting to see the gold and blue dragons and hear Dakota and Azula's voices just as he had then.

The empty throne room was silent save for the familiar crackling of the fire. In the dream, _he_ had been the one to light the pathway, had been so proud of the heavy Fire Lord robes he wore and so _eager_ to sit in the throne. Almost without permission his hand reached out to touch the closest arm of the chair, sliding along the slight depression in the leather from where so many Fire Lords had rested their forearms as they oversaw the Fire Nation's affairs.

Zuko looked back at the smooth stone floor of the chamber. If he tried, he could almost see a much younger Zuko and Azula seated there before their grandfather, both nervous but Azula hiding it infinitely better than he ever could. The voice of his grandfather hadn't aged along with his body; it had remained crisp, sharp and cold until the day he died.

 _"Pathetic, truly, that the firstborn can't even meet my gaze. If it is out of fear, then all the more shame—fear of me is expected from weaker minds but as the heir it is your duty to_ hide _that fear. Your sister has no hesitations in looking at me, but then again I never expected different from_ her _…"_

Zuko looked down at his feet, sucking in a deep breath as the old shame threatened to swallow him whole. Fire tickled the palms of his hands; an angry, bitter heat that whispered of the person he had once been.

"I was your _grandson_ ," he hissed into the emptiness, knowing that no answer would come but feeling the need to say the words anyway. The anger rose higher as his mind more securely settled into the statement—justified in the fury because the former Fire Lord hadn't minded that a _child_ was completely and utterly terrified of him.

The fire faded from his fingers as he recalled another instance in which he had been scared to meet the gaze of the person before him: that night by the river after beating that drunken swordsman well beyond reason. Raw from sharing fire and confused by the sheer _terror_ of what Dakota would say in response to what she had undoubtedly felt in said fire, he had avoided her eye and focused on his bruised hands instead—it was easier to look at the damage done to his hands than risk looking up and seeing the damage his recklessness might have caused.

The gentle urging in her fire proved to be too much; he was helpless to resist the urge to look up. What he found stole all the breath out of his chest: a _smile_. Not one that mocked and sneered down at him but one that _understood_.

Shaking his head to return himself to the present moment, Zuko glanced back at the chair that had been his obsession for so many years. The draw was still there, still tempting, but there was something stronger behind it. No longer was sitting on the throne a fantasy or a distant dream that might never be realized.

 _It's not if_ , Zuko realized as he strode down the stairs and out of the throne room, _but_ when _._

* * *

Dakota's blood _burned_ , her hands grasping for purchase as strong hands hooked under her thighs and hoisted her up so that mouths could meet without much effort. Her back loudly collided with the cool wood of the mostly hidden alcove but she was beyond caring, her focus narrowed down to the heat skittering across her skin.

"You okay?" Wiat gasped when they broke apart for air, uncharacteristically concerned.

Too worked up to think of a coherent response, Dakota let out a sound of frustration and yanked Wiat's face back to hers, biting none too gently on the taller girl's lower lip. The response was immediate; the gypsy lashed out with her own teeth but on Dakota's neck rather than her lip.

A very undignified sound escaped her at that. Wiat snickered before kissing her again, rough and filthy and _glorious_.

Even in these moments, Dakota's brain couldn't entirely shut off. A small part of her knew that she was using the unexpected but not unwelcome sexual chemistry between Wiat and herself—discovered during a friendly sparring match a week after Dakota Firebent for the first time since Ba Sing Se—as a buffer but it felt so good that it wasn't too difficult to tell that part of her to shut the hell up.

Another part of her was marveling; before Wiat had kissed her for the first time on the watch post, she hadn't even considered the idea that she might be attracted to women. Sure, she found them beautiful and openly admired them but never had she felt that strong of a draw until the day Wiat smiled at her for the first time.

Wiat was sarcastic and pretty and her soft lips were so _different_ than Zuko's—

Ice flooded Dakota's veins, just for a moment, and thank God for Wiat because the girl chose that moment to slide one of her hands down Dakota's body and between her legs. The feeling of the girl's thumb against her most sensitive spot was so sudden and sharp that it yanked her right out of the ice and into the fire again.

"Spirits, you're so _hot_ ," Wiat whispered, and Dakota couldn't help but giggle a little at that, a giggle that morphed into a whimper when the older girl moved her hand in just the right way.

"Where I come from," Dakota panted. "Saying someone is hot is saying that they're super, super attractive."

Wiat's dark green eyes met hers, then, and the intensity in them made Dakota's heart lurch uneasily.

"I mean it both ways, then."

Dakota blinked, unsure of what to say. Wiat didn't seem to care that she was silent and wasted no time in moving her thumb again, this time more firmly and—

"Can someone _find_ her, then?" Luka's voice came from around the corner of the alcove. Before either Wiat or Dakota could move, the girl in question walked into view, her next orders dying in her throat as she took in the position they were in. Dakota frantically squirmed out of Wiat's hold and onto her own two feet, scowling when Wiat's face remained unfazed.

"Oh for the love of—never mind!" the Waterbender yelled back to whomever she had been speaking with. Dakota's cheeks were so red that they'd probably burst into flames in the next few seconds.

Luka fixed both of them with an exasperated look, one that was softened by the slight smirk that threatened at the corner of her mouth.

"I've heard rumors that a Lelino and a Rena have been sneaking around for the past few weeks and I have to say…I'm not in the least bit surprised."

Dakota crossed her arms over her chest. "What's _that_ supposed to mean? We've been subtle!"

Wiat let out a sound that was suspiciously close to a snort but when Dakota fixed her with an accusing glare the girl's face was smooth and innocent. Luka smiled, but it was a weak smile, and it was then that Dakota saw the tension in her friend's shoulders.

"Is everything alright?" she asked, combative mood sobering at once.

Luka's lips pursed. "Our lookouts have spotted a conflict between two Fire Nation ships a few miles away. One of the ships is using a combination of Earthbending and Waterbending—"

Dakota didn't register the next words, the world shifting on its axis in a flurry of memory. A flash of an image on a television screen—Toph, Sokka and a man that could only be Sokka and Katara's father dressed in Fire Nation attire and standing on a Fire Nation ship—and suddenly she _knew_.

Luka's voice brought her back:

"You know them."

Dakota nodded. "They're the ones that saved me after Azula…after she…"

The words stuck themselves in her throat, sharp and unyielding, and before her mind could take her back to the icy chill of that horrible room a hand fell on her shoulder. Startled, she looked up at Wiat, only to find the girl looking down at her with a small smile on her face.

Luka's eyes were somber as they flickered between the two of them. Before Dakota could ask what was wrong the Waterbender straightened, every bit the Chieftess she would one day become.

"I'll go tell my father that we need to send aid, then. Go to the docking raft when you hear the bell," she ordered. With one last look at Wiat, Luka turned and hurried away, her long brown hair shining in the bright sunlight.

"So," Wiat said casually, leaning against the wall. "I guess this is it."

Dakota frowned. "You say that like I'm never going to see you again."

"You won't."

The statement was a slap to the face and Dakota felt anger join the shock of Luka's revelation. Pushing Wiat away, she squared her shoulders and glared up at the other girl.

"Why would you—" she began, but was cut off by Wiat suddenly leaning down to kiss her.

The kiss wasn't one of the bruising, savage kisses that set Dakota's body aflame. It was gentle—too gentle, because instead of burning through the pain of her memories it took her back to that day in the alley behind Pao's tea shop, took her back to the moment in which another person had kissed her with that same hesitant tenderness—

Dakota took a frantic step back, breaking the connection and struggling to keep her expression from betraying just how close to tears she was. If Wiat's knowing look was anything to go on, she had failed miserably in her attempt. Her chest felt too tight, too raw, and yet she found herself unable to break eye contact because even through the tangled mess of her emotions she recognized that she was witnessing the beginning of something and an end to that something, all at once.

When the sounds of the boarding bell reached them, Dakota was the one to walk away, neither of them saying a word as she did.

* * *

Toph snarled under her breath as the entire ship shuddered with the force of the enemy Fire Nation ship's attack. Her energy levels was still high but their supply of earth and scrap metal was running low and _that_ was what worried her. Katara was doing _some_ damage with her Waterbending but there was only so much the older girl could do from such a distance.

"How much longer do you have?" Sokka asked—if it had been anyone else, the almost silent approach would have been rewarded with a solid punch to the stomach but since it _was_ him she settled for scowling.

" _I_ can go all day but I don't think we have enough dirt and metal for that," Toph gritted out as she readied another sharp, earthen disk. Without needing prompting Sokka shifted to stand behind her and moved her so she was facing the enemy ship that she couldn't see. On his count she let the large projectile fly and felt her chest swell with vicious pride when the sounds of it hitting her target vibrated across the water.

Yeah, she was pretty awesome.

The sound of Katara creating a wall of water shivered across her skin—no matter how many times it happened, the watery hissing sound always sent chills down her spine. Sokka's dad—his voice was lower than Sokka's but had the same intonation and therefore was one that Toph could pick out no matter how loud things got—called out for them to take cover and without thinking she used the earth scattered around her feet to create a protective dome above Sokka and herself.

A few pieces of metal hit her makeshift shield; even though Katara's shield could easily extinguish any fire sent their way, it wasn't quite enough to keep the shrapnel from reaching the deck.

"We need Aang," Toph groaned as more metal hit—one piece pierced the lower end of the shield and scratched at her thigh. The cut wasn't deep but it _hurt_! "Airbending is the only thing that's going to keep the metal from hitting us!"

"If he comes up, we'll have to kill every single person on that ship to keep his secret safe. We can't let that happen," Sokka shot back. Spirits, but was he noble—or, in other words, _annoying_.

"Even when they're doing their best to kill every single one of _us_?" she demanded, ignoring the throbbing of her leg in favor of preparing another disk. This one she added sharp spikes to—maybe it would do enough damage to cease the attacks long enough to give her a breather.

Her attention wavered when Sokka's heartbeat suddenly jumped in speed. Disk forgotten, she flung her arm out in his direction in an attempt to figure out what was wrong. In the same moment she heard an unfamiliar sound—a deep, unified drumming that seemed to come from every direction.

"Sokka, what's happening?" she asked, silently cursing—not for the first time—their need to be on the ship and in the open ocean because sure, it was a good way to travel but it also meant that Toph was _useless_.

Her entire body froze at the vibrations filling the air—the roar of fire and screams from the enemy ship that had been busy attacking them just moments before. Sokka's grip on her tightened and for the first time since the fight had started she felt a tickle of fear at the back of her throat because the entire ship was silent and that meant that no one knew if the unfamiliar presence was friend or foe.

And then, what felt like seconds later, the air was deathly silent and the only thing Toph was sure of was the thudding of her own heartbeat and the forced calm of Sokka's breathing. The sound of a ship approaching was almost a relief after the silence and as it grew closer—the splashing of the water against the boat told Toph it was made of wood, not metal—she heard a shocked gasp from Katara, followed immediately by frantic whispering to her father.

In the same moment Toph felt Sokka's entire body freeze, mirroring her own, and she was left confused and frustrated until a familiar presence touched down on their ship's deck. The moment it did everything shifted because she _knew_ that weight, knew that specific warmth even if the way the person held herself was slightly different than it had been before.

Dakota spoke, then, and the sound of her voice would have removed all doubt had Toph allowed any to fester in the first place—which she hadn't, because her senses were never wrong.

" _Finally_ —I got to save someone _else_ for a change!"


	7. AN: let's talk about sex(uality), baby

_**Author Note: Dakota and her sexuality (aka**_ — _**some much-needed context)**_

In regards to Dakota and the "shock" of what happened last chapter: I had many people reach out and question my decision to have her casually hook up with Wiat, claiming that it wasn't done well/foreshadowed enough and that I'm turning her bisexual with no warning, so I thought I'd hop on real quick and try to give a half-decent explanation:

In my opinion, sexuality is a super tricky thing to figure out sometimes, especially for Dakota who 1) is 16 and very inexperienced with sex/romance and 2) has had no reason to consider girls an option up until falling into the Avatar world, not recognizing her unusual awareness of Luka (I was super subtle about it, yes, but Dakota found her attractive in a sexual way from the START but of course she didn't understand it so therefore wouldn't "hint" at being attracted) for what it was.

I based her experience loosely on my own "revelation" moment, when I was kissed by a girl in my senior year of high school. Before that kiss, I saw women as pretty (something I had Dakota very clearly mention) but hadn't considered that my appreciation of women was different from any other straight girl. It took a girl kissing me to have the "OH DAMN, I THINK I'M A BIT GAY" moment. Even over five years later, I'm STILL figuring out who I am and what I want in regards to my bisexuality. As awesome as it is that there are people who firmly know from a young age where they stand sexually, it isn't like that for all of us — and that's OKAY.

Please keep in mind that this isn't about what the readers think is "correct" or "logical" — this is about Dakota and her way of dealing with grief/taking ownership of herself and ONLY herself for the first time since her Avatar journey started.

Is she bisexual? SHE DOESN'T _KNOW_ YET! This is her first experience, after all, and sure it's exciting but she isn't exactly giving herself the time and space to analyze it (all that will come later, don't you worry). I made it clear in the chapter that she's still dealing with a TON of confusion regarding Zuko and her feelings for him and so she's in a bit of a "if I don't think about it, it'll magically go away/fix itself" mentality. Is this healthy? NOPE. But is it where Dakota feels most comfortable right now? YUP.

I'm not going to deny that it was sudden — but then again, big moments/changes are sometimes VERY sudden so I don't think it's that far out of the scope of reality. I understand that not everyone will enjoy this shift in character but then again, are we enjoying Zuko kissing/being with Mai — aka not being the person we know him to be after 2 books of development? Both Dakota and Zuko are making selfish decisions when it comes to intimacy because they are HURTING right now and are going to do whatever they can to feel wanted/validated. Again, it's not pretty and it's not smart but when we're hurting, human beings are exceptionally illogical.

Zuko and Dakota built their romantic relationship slowly — not cuz I wanted them to, but because Zuko was an absolute ass to start off with and Dakota was a timid little mouse who was adjusting both to the magical world she fell into as well as the grumpy douche-bag she was forced to travel with. If I had rushed them into sex or romance with no warning it wouldn't have made sense because of who they both were as people as well as the nature of their connection. For Zuko and Dakota, the romance came from months and months of becoming friends and slowly realizing that they wanted each other in a romantic (and sexual) sense. The bond they have took a long time to build and so of course it was a slow burn/had tons of foreshadowing because their kind of romance isn't something that can (or should) be rushed.

Dakota and Wiat's situation was very different and much less intense/emotional: after seeing Dakota fight and stand up for herself, Wiat's interest was peaked and so she spent a week getting to know her a bit and liked what she found, leading her to decide to see if Dakota was interested by kissing her, followed by Dakota responding positively to it because it felt good, she was attracted to Wiat in a way she hadn't felt before (HELLO DISTRACTION BY EXPLORING NEW SENSATIONS) and she wanted to remind herself that she's more than just the girl who's in love with Zuko...idk, to me it makes SENSE?

Why does Dakota having this spontaneous (HOT) experience suddenly mean she's for sure bisexual? Is sexual experimentation suddenly a foreign concept? LET HER LIVE, DAMMIT. We'll get her thoughts (and other peoples' thoughts) on it — and what it means for her sexuality — in future chapters but yeah...JUST LET MY BABY GET SOME ACTION/FIGURE OUT HER SEXUALITY AT HER OWN PACE CUZ SHE'S HURTING AND WIAT'S SMILE MELTED HER LOINS A BIT, SUE HER.

I'll end my note (and get off my slightly irritated high horse) with this: people not understanding/agreeing with my decision to have Dakota explore her sexuality/deal with her grief in this way doesn't make it any less a valid and important chapter of her story. Just because someone kisses/enjoys kissing someone of the same gender doesn't mean they're magically and fully bisexual — that's not taking into account 1) motive, 2) if there's a desire to be romantic and 3) the personal analyzation of the experience — which Dakota is very purposefully AVOIDING cuz lol to having tough conversations with yourself when your life is already stressful as feck.

I hope this helps some of you understand why I did the things I did, even if you don't agree with it — I fully support everyone having their own opinion and don't expect people to see things exactly my way. Please don't hesitate to PM me if you want to discuss this further because honest communication is king!

Lots of love, as always, and I hope to see y'all next chapter!

~Sapphire


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